Season 1-1000 ways to die cartoon message from wadey. Edit
"Hi guys this is my a 1000 ways to die cartoon show its a parody of the show that might be animated one day on wadey's other stuff as a cartoon show".
"As you can guess from the title the characters are all either from video games, tv shows and comics well that's all for now see you next time :p". Oh and ocs(but only a few probably 50 that's it probably)
Cheeky me Edit
So yeah :p
episode 1-look out death is aboutEdit
"Ahhh see what happens when your not careful as we show you these outrageous deaths. A con artist gets shredded, a stripper gets shot, two drug dealers get impaled, an aloholic falls to his death, a cowboy gets attacked by hornets, A bug collector gets to close to his bugs, and a genius kills himself".
"WARNING;the stories portrayed in this show are based on real deaths and are extremely graphic. names have been changed to protect the identities of the deceased. Do not attempt to try any of the deaths deputed. Chances are 99.9 percent that you will die. For younger readers; Just DO NOT TRY IT AT HOME, OR ANYWHERE IN THE WHOLE WORLD!"
"Death is everywhere. Most of us try to avoid it and can't get out of it's way. Everyday we have a new war against germs, toxins, injury, disease, illness and catastrophe.There's a lot of ways to wind up dead. The fact that we survive it all is a miracle because everyday we live we face a 1000 ways to die".
1- Shredder Revenge;
1- Europe LA Date September 2008 . "Daffy was a con artist who spent most of his time lying to one of his colleagues as-a ticket giver. But at one of his other jobs a paper shredder worker one of his customers [Sylvester] from eariler that day came after he found his ticket was a fake,and chased after Daffy .Sylvester experienced a fake ticket, and decided to take his rights into revenge. Daffy needed somewhere to hide. But while he was running he didn't noticed that eariler, one of the other workers acciedently spilt a large capacity of water on the floor. Daffy slipped and fell into the main shredder. Now, you would be incredibly lucky to survive, but as you can guess; Daffy didn't. He fell in and in seconds his limbs and internal organs were ripped to shreds. You could only survive a few minutes, but ten minutes later, one of his co-workers had found him and immeadiatley turned off the shredder. It was too late; Daffy shredded and the mournful shocked". "We call this - Shredder Revenge ~ Number # 1 of our list. These are the dangers of life, and clumsy inheritance is defeated by death itself. Bye Daffy!"
2 - Strippers Salute;
"Sophie was a stripper in LA, Hollywood. She worked there part-time as her co-worker had an injury a week earlier when she fell alarmingly on a piece of broken glass. Being as her leg was injured, that's when Sophie had to take her place. One day she got drunk from a hen night with her best friend that had just married her boyfriend the month before. She went drowsy and fell into security at the front entrance of the strip club. Security didn't expect the fall, so security being security accidently triggered his gun, and shot her in the stomach. Unfortunatey, the nearest hospital was 12 miles away, because the one on the corner had closed earlier on in the evening. And for Sophie - that was her deathly destiny. We call this - Strippers Salute. She died 15 minutes later due to the ambulance being stuck in LA traffic".
3 - Drug Death;
"Stitch And Sparky were Drug dealers in Ireland..They drank illegal drugs and Alcohol. One day, they ran out of drugs, so they set up a gambing table. A clever townsperson knew he got conned when he secretley watched them deal the cards. You see, Sparky and Stitch made money because on the table laid all 4 red heart, and the people were meant to get 4 black diamond. The townsperson planned revenge and started to shout. He flipped over all 3 cards and the townspeople started a riot and chased after the drug dealers.They travelled far into the woods, but of course- they ended up dead. How? - They tripped over a tree root, and fell into a sharp branch- they impaled themselves!"."Just goes to show - Never take drugs, or gamble. We call this - Drug Death. Drugs= the deceased".
4 - Vodka Invasion;
"Fred was addicted to alcohol - any alcohol Stella Artois, Vodka, Foster ext. He had an alcholic anoymnous every Wednesday.He would go down to his friends and drink alcoholic drinks.But would this entirely become a disaster - yes it did. He entirely went drowsy and didn't noticed that he had gone up a building.And he fell 6,998 feet to the ground and it killed him". "Be careful with what you do cause it can kill you.We call this- Vodka Invasion".
5- Wild West Wasted Away;
"Jones was a cowboy impersonator. He did this for a living. One day, a hornet got through the air vent. It started to reproduce and make more hornets. A few weeks later, Jones had took a shower before he went on the stage. He used flower scented body wash and coconut shampoo for his hair. You see, hornets are attracted to flowery plants and fruits. We are now going to tell you about his wild west waste of a life - The hornets smelt the fresh smelling scent and went after him. Due to Jones being allergic and didn't have any eqiupment, he moved about and that made the hornets angry. To defend themselves they stung him several times because unlike the bee, they can sting more than once. He had too many stings and died in a couple of minutes due to the audience thinking it was a part of the show"
"Well Jones knew it and then he didn't".
6 - Bugged;
"bugs was a bug addict". He had tarantulas mosquitoes ants and many more".one day however he got bit by a black widow and become sick".he died six weeks later". "
ah bugs don't ever trust insects or they will kill you".
7-Genius go bye bye
"Wile e was a genius. the only problem was he was rubbish at making inventions.he would nearly get killed by one of them, but he always stays fine in the end.until one day he was chasing a chicken but forgot that had accidentally left his dynamite running.the dynamite exploded and blood went everywhere".
"wile e should had known that he had a problem with his inventions in the end he never find out".
End credits-same as show
episode 2 - death has comeEdit
"Ahhh life can be a bitch keep watching as we show 7 of today's episode deaths"."a speedster runs his last run". "A sailor goes for a slip and bite". "3 morons laugh themselves to death". "A footballer gets the boot". "A teacher has a heartattack"."A comedian has her just deserved". "And a rock star preform his last performance".
"Death is everywhere most of us to try avoid it. Others can't get out of it's way. Everyday we live we fight a new war against germs toxins injury illness and catastrophe. There's a lot of ways to wind up dead the fact that survive at all is a miracle. Because everyday we live we face a 1000 ways to die".
8- speeded out:
"Sonic is a speedrunner. He enjoys tormenting others about their slowness and weight. "Great job fatty. Sonic has never been disqualified because he blames it on others. But one day a race was taking place and sonic decided to signed up "I'm so gonna beat those fatties. What sonic said would his last. Now before we continue what do you think is gonna next?. He ran and ran and than fell dead. But what killed him? Well earlier that day. Sonic was exercising but he didn't notice a bullet shot from yesterday had gone through his foot. As soon as he started running the charge in the bullet exploded and caused his whole body stop working".
"Sonic should been less careless about fatties and more on the race. Now he's has gone with a bang".
9- shark bait:
"Donald is an obnoxious sailor who mops the floors for a job. He gets annoyed about it when other sailors mock and throw mud on the floor. Now Donald has lost his temper and smash his mop and attempts to stab them but slips and falls into the sea. Now the water that he landed in was shark infested and in minutes sharks appeared."help me. But the crew were long gone. He devoured in minutes".
"Donald should had gotten a different job in the end he died. Enjoy your time shark bait".
10 - laugh and Darth
"Shenzi banzai and ed are three idiotic laughers. They enjoy watching people hurt themselves and laugh at it "these people are so stupid Hahahahaha". "I know Hahahahaha"."Hahahahaha. They eventually came across a video that was so funny they couldn't stop laughing and 20 hours of laughing they died"."the cause of death was because their lungs stopped working and they couldn't stop go figure".
"Shenzi banzai and ed should had known they would died in the end laughter became their death".
11- footballed away: " Craig is a footballer who secretly masturbates. One day a sign that said (big football match on Thursday 24 2014) "ha I'm so gonna win. "I'm gonna win this. That night he went home. And rested for tomorrow. He went to the games the next day.but as he was walking he didn't notice a ball landed in front and got stuck to his butt. Last night He didn't notice he Sat on some glue and it got on his trousers. Just then another footballer not seeing craig. Kicked him across the field and he got impaled by a goal post".
"Craig was a bitchy masteurbating asshole until he went down with a kick".
"miss battleaxe was a horrid teacher. she was 56 and wishes she didn't get this job. On Friday she was glad and was getting ready to go home. But the kids annoyed her and she yelled and fell dead. How did this happen? Well miss battleaxe was going through a heartattack as soon as she yelled it stopped her heart and she died".
Miss battleaxe was a horrid teacher who wanted a different job but instead she lost her life and died.
"Pepper clark is an comedian. She would work as a comedian to get money. She is a comedian and money taker in disquise. She is a dirty joker and talks to friends about lies. One night however she was found out and had tomatoes and materials thrown at her. A piece of glass of glass got stuck in her temple and her brain shut down".
"Oh pepper if only you didn't have to be such a bitch but now you'll never know!"
14- rocked out:
" Steven is an selfish popstar and can be obnoxious. So he would eventually die right?. " come on you morons". He was Meanie to his band mates. Once on stage he sang life is a stripper by himself during the performance. Someone told him to do a stage dive and he toke his shirt off and jumped off the stage but noone caught him and he fell and hit the floor and died".
"Steven was a selfish creep who went famous Meanie to dead popstar".
End credits- same as show
Episode 3- death has a name Edit
"From organs being ripped out to falling into acid. We show you these idiotic guys being killed of course. 5 friends get blown up. A manager loses his mind. A grumpy worker gets fried. A police officer gets covered in acid. 2 sex dealers lose their lives. A stupid man goes over a cliff. And a sporty woman gets impaled".
"Death is everywhere most of us try to avoid it others can't get out of it's way. Everyday we fight a new war against germs toxins injury illness and catastrophe. There's a lot of ways to wind up dead the fact that we survive at all is a miracle because everyday we live we face a 1000 ways to die".
"One time in your life you would find gangs who act idiotic. Meet (harry,Harold, freddie,William,and sim. These boys constantly do stupid things like put ash on their eyes or run across a boiling lava floor. "Hey you guys up for a challenge?". "Yes". Ok we're gonna play the click game. What is the click game you may ask? It's a game where you use a gun and see who gets the bullet. The gang go to an abandoned shack to play the game. What they don't know is that mines were planted there. the guys started playing the game. Of course there weren't any bullets in the gun. " do you guys hear that?" one of them said. "Yeah". They all looked under the table and there was a mine."Ahhhhhhh" they screamed and bang. The bomb went off and blood was everywhere. The bodies were gone".
"Ahh these teens these days. There was never hope for them to survive. And now Harry Harold Freddie William and sim are gone With a bang".
16- manager die hard:
"Mr krabs is an obnoxious manager he never pays his workers (Bob and squid) his workers get angry about this and ask for money. Krabs knowing that he would be sued by them went insane and punched them and ran and then dead. But how? Well last night his workers put cocaine in his drink. As soon as he got up the cocaine reached to his brain and he died".
"Mr Krabs never cared to pay his workers and now they have all the money in the world".
"Squid is an grumpy worker ( who is actually from the death story that we just did) ahem. Anyway he was always mean to the customers and just was mean guy to be honest. "What would you like sir!. The customers started to get angry and chased him around the kitchen. Suddenly he slips and falls head first into a frier and dies".
"Never mess with a crowd squid because when you do you get fried".
18- acid officer:
"Officer wiggium is an lazy cop who only cares about donuts. "I love donuts. One day there is a report about crooks invading a chemical plant and wiggium is on his way. What is acid you may ask? Acid is a dangerous chemical that if touched burn your skin off. Wiggium arrives at the chemical plant and chases the crooks. He gets them and handcuffs them. "Well done myself. But just as he is celebrating he accidentally pushes a button and acid falls out and lands on top of him and dies"
Officer wiggium should of known he was rubbish at his job. In the end he died. And as for the crooks they were lucky and ran all to bank and then the beach".
19- red and rippy:
"Ren and stimpy are 2 sex dealers who ask woman to have sex with them. One day however they go to a farm and ask a farmer's daughters to have sex with them. But just their about to there is a bang and Ren and stimpy fall dead on the ground. But what killed them? Well seeing them when they came. The farmer called a hitman name Zeus. And just as they were about to hit off. He shot them and the ladies screamed and ran away".
"Ren and stimpy could of lived if didn't do sex but in the end the bullet always wins".
20 -a death of idiotidocy:
"Bob is a stupid man who makes everyone annoyed. He was a rubbish driver and he always crashed. One day because of his bad driving. He went over a cliff and died. But wait where was he going? He was driving to mount Everest but couldn't stop in time and went over and died".
"There could have been a different ending but because of his stupidity he died".
"Rainbow is a sports instructor and enjoys being mean to her traineers. "Keep those feet up". She is a mean person in a sports suit. One day however she had a new fat rookie named eggman doing the wall climb. But he got stuck and rope flicked back and sent her into a tennis pole and she got impaled and died".
"Hmm rainbow should have known being mean never helps. So in the end she deserved to die".
End credits- same as show
episode 4-death is angryEdit
Death is a confusing thing and bloody too. Sit back and enjoy as show you 7 of today's deaths. A nerd goes blind and then dies. A biker gets his just deserves. A cocaine addict snoorks too much. A postman goes for a ride. A mechanic gets hanged. A farmer goes for a slow. And a super zero falls.
Death is everywhere most of us try to avoid it others can't get out of it's way. Everyday we live we fight a new war against germs,toxins,injury,illness,and catastrophe. There's a lot of ways to wind up dead the fact that we survive at all is a miracle because everyday we live we face a 1000 ways to die.
"Max was the guy you never wanna be. "He was a nerd and a loser who always got bullied by rogues and was fed up with it that one day he was so angry he didn't see his chemicals exploded in his face he went blind in seconds and he accidentally tripped over a lab container and hit his cranium on the table so hard that it cracked his head and he died".
"Well once a nerd always a nerd right max max?".
23- biker go bye bye:
"See these guys motorbikes and all these are bikers what are bikers you ask their a group of thugs who drink loads of alcohol and ride on motorbikes". "Well every biker had to have a leader meet scourge the baddest dude around and pervert". "His fame got the better of him and he died". "how? He was going at 8900mph and couldn't hold on and fell hitting the ground fracturing his ribs spine and cranium and death was instant".
"Scourge should of been less drunk and more careful because on this show you never live for it". Scourge didn't get that so he went from fame to bikered away".
"Elliot was a cocaine addict he snoorked more than a one million people could and when he ran out he would steal cocaine from other addicts and snoork theirs too". "Elliot had snoorked and snoorked and snoorked until bang his snoorking days were over". "He accidentally snoorked up a explosive dust and when it reached his nose it exploded rupturing his brain and organs and he died".
"Elliot was a snoorker but his snoorking addiction eventually ended his life with a boom".
25- posted off:
"Pat Clinton was an average postman who like all postmen had to deliver he was to retire when they asked if he could do a big errand this made pat angry why? Because he actually hated being a postman and when they asked he got really angry and didn't notice his son's skateboard". " he accidentally stepped on it and went for a ride until smash he crashed in the Windows of his van and was embedded with shards of glass and dies".
"Silly pat postman more like splatman well bye for now smash Clinton".
"Wow a garage what death could possibly happen at a garage #looks to tails# oh there's one". "How did tails die: "well early tails was messing around with his pal rotor when suddenly the rope attached to the wood he was on got tangled and he accidentally hanged him and was pulled along unknown to rotor he was dead until rotor saw he wasn't moving and stands there screaming then runs".
"Tails should had been more full of brains because in the end his brain was no more right tails".
"Farmer pickles was an abusive farmer and was downright mean to crows. "go away! Bloody crows". "So how did he die:"well farmer pickles was doing his morning check when a stray cow was running only it wasn't a cow it was a bull! "Ahhhhhhh" farmer pickles screamed and as the bull charged straight into him causing him to fly across the field and into a fork impaling himself".
"Farmers are supposed to be nice people but pickles didn't get that and now he never will".
"Wayne was a top notch asshole and so when he decides to become a superhero what do you think happens well first he was called black death sounds more like a supervillain's name which is exactly why he dies but how? He saw a bunch of lagoons and tried to beat them up but was no match and accidentally tripped on his cape and fell hitting the ground so hard which which snapped his elbows and knees spine cranium ribs and pelvis".
"Wayne should've known not just some guy can become a superhero they have to be trained and have power Wayne boy here didn't get that and he went from super hero to supervillain to super zero".
episode 5 death has a number Edit
"Ahhhhhhh from entrails being sliced out to a decapitation we count seven of today's deaths". "Two morons go for a ride in a hamster ball". "a dog hater gets leashed". "A robber takes a plunge and dIes". "An animal lover gets run over". "Three dicks get squashed by a balcony"." A gamer plays to his end". "And a assassin gets assassinated by himself".
"Death is everywhere most of try to avoid others can't get out of it's way"." Every day we fight a new war against germs toxins injury illness and catastrophe". "There's a lot of ways to wind up dead the fact that we survive at all is a miracle because everyday we live we face a 1000 ways to die".
29-hamster balled out:
"Furball and calamity were the dumbest duo around they would do stupid things like swallow snooker balls and kick each other in the balls". "One day they were trekking a mountain and found a hamster ball and got inside and started moving it what is a hamster ball you ask its a giant rubbery ball that uses wind to move it". "furball and calamity were enjoying themselves until eventually their laughing turned to screams". "They went over a cliff and rolled and rolled and rolled crashing into each other cracking heads and snapping bones until finally the ball popped and they were dead".
"Furball and calamity two idiots went from laughing to screaming to finally dead".
30-dog says die:
"Jasper hated dogs he wished the darn animal never existed but the owners thought differently because jasper would sued so he proceeded with his job until a bark came out which alerted the others". "Jasper had pissed off the wrong sort of dogs and they dragged him across and straight into a tree and jasper died snapping his neck and brain and he died".
"Jasper was a dog hater he hated their lives and he ended up without one".
31-robbed n plunge:
"Jon Arbuckle was an average criminal and his job paid off only problem was though he was a clumsy clots he slipped over water and tripped on the ground luckily he was always alright until one night he was robbing the mayor when he slipped some water he survived but not what was inside it was infested with piranhas and in minutes Jon was eaten alive and he died".
"Jon should had been less of a clots and more of a robber because he fell he splashed then he died"
"Fluttershy was a woods girl who loved animals and she wished she could be more close to them". "On her way hone one day she spotted a raccoon in the middle of the road and she decided to bring it back just as she was about to a truck came and hit her and she was dead instantly".
"Fluttershy wished she could be with the animals in the end her wish came but then so did her fate".
33-bal co died:
"Here we have three different assholes:
"Lightning was drug addict and for one reason the thing is lightning wasn't a drug addict to begin with he was a ninja who was madly in love with his sensei but she didn't love him back and he was banished".
"Predator was a rogue hitman who got fired and took a life off in his house and did stupid very stupid things he would backflip off a ladder and ride his skateboard down the road into cars and luckily avoid getting hit".
"Flying was a insane mental who would steal cars and buy illegal things like weed and pushed it up his ass but luckily he never got poisoned but he was credited as a nutcase".
"So what you think will when a drug addict a daredevil and a insane man meet well here's what happened:"the three of them got into a fight and lost their lives how?: they were to close to a balcony that was hanging with all the pushing and shoving the balcony ended up by a tiny nail of a inch once the final shove was done the balcony fell crashing the three of them and they died".
"These nutcases were all stupid and because of that they died".
"Plucky was an avid gamer who only ate junk food pissed in a bottle and played for hours on you guessed it call of duty or gta sometime gmod"."his life was shit but he didn't care he loved it but one day a professional gamer came and beat him on a game of call of duty plucky got and stood up then he died". "Plucky had been sitting down for so long that his legs had been pushing into his chest and once he stood up his heart stopped and pretty much died from a pressure crush".
"Plucky was a gamer looking for fun but when a pro came and stole his pride he jumped and then he died ( tv shows the word game over)".
"Nack was a assassin working for the extermination squad his job was to shoot down terrorists or traitors of their country. "Nack had one problem he was to close to the jeep and he saw the target appeared and he killed his target but then the bullet bounced back and hit him straight back in the head and he died".
"Nack was a bad guy who killed his target but wound up dead".
End credits-same as show ps the names are ours in the credits that goes for all the episodes".
Episode 6- death strikes Edit
"From being cut to bits by a woodchipper to a being choked by a bag we count the seven deaths in a thousand ways to die of course". "A show star swallows his Mic". "A pirate loses his grip and falls hitting deck below"."a waiteress crashes and slices". "A serial killer stabs himself". "Four knuckle brains lose their lives". "A rich dick gets drowned in money". "And a two rednecks get impaled through the heads".
36- show swallowed:
"Fazbear was a kid entertainer at the happy animals pizzeria his job was however disrespected by his audience you see they weren't kids and happy animals was actually a run down drug store". "Fazbear hated his job and when the audience started throwing tomatoes he got angry he ran forward and then died but what killed him?:"fazbear was to close to the wire near his Mic when he lounged forward he tripped over the Mic and it went through his mouth with all the saliva dripping on the mic it electrocuted him and choked him at the same time".
"Fazbear hated his job but when time came he quit but not in the way he expected it too".
"Foxy was a pirate who sailed the seven who drank heavily and messed with his crew but drinking eventually lead to his death but how:"that night foxy had drunk so much he was practically drunk and he didn't notice he had gone up the rope of the ship eventually he reached the top but his drunken state caused him to not see anything and fell over the edge hitting his back on the deck so hard it cracked then snapped and he died".
"Foxy was a regular pirate having fun but when he went drunk his vision turned against him and then he died".
"Chica was a waitress in the happy animals pizzeria who had gone through a lot of incidents where she could've died but didn't but one day she was working a shift and she died how?:" chica was carrying a pack of knifes to the customers when she crashed into a wall and the knives sliced her arms and stabbed themselves into her brains and skin hitting her heart killing her instantly and she died".
"Chica was a washed up waitress who escaped death but one her luck went away and she wound dead".
39- serial killed me:
"Life as a serial killer can be hard meet lotso he was criminally insane serial killer who killed people as a living so far he's murdered about 576 people and no one has caughted him or seen his identity you see lotso wore this badger mask and so every time someone said badger! He would shoot". "One night lotso went into the president's house to murder him and his daughter when he set off a alarm he ran and but accidentally tripped and stabbed himself".
"Lotso was a average serial killer who went from pro to go".
"Wow another gang wow wonder what happens to these guys oh that's what happened okay let's reverse back to how this happened:"meet knuckles espio vector and mighty these knuckleheads would do anything dumb like shoot rockets under their asses or drink someone's sweat its like another episode of jackass when these guys are around". "One evening they setting up a prank for sally when it backfired and they died but how?:well they setting up a water prank with a hose when it back fired it waved around and strangled mighty hit vector's cranium straight into a wall launched espio and he landed on the pavement and went straight in knuckle's mouth and the pressure caused his head to explode". "They died of strangulation, cracked skull, falling high from the sky and finally an exploded water pressured brain".
"Knuckles espio mighty and vector should known they are dumb because in the end they died".
41- money rushed:
"Once in your life you would meet a rich dick who lived in a mansion full of money who would swim in it meet scrooge he's the richest guy around and also a total asshole he would steal from others by pickpocketing and he would use it for his own greed but one day he was swimming in his money when he decided to dive into it and jumped in and was dead how?:"he landed on it with so much force his coin had forced themselves into his body and he drowned in his own money".
"Scrooge was an obnoxious money grabber and in the end the devil paid back for it".
"Every once in a while a bunch of rednecks shows up and they always have a leader meet nuka the drunkest redneck who ever lived he would mess around with his buddy maumbu because he wouldn't anywhere without his bro co leader". "Nuka and maumbu were partners in rednecksism who run around drinking boose and messing with props but this eventually would've killed them right here's what happen next?:Nuka and maumbu messing around as usual when suddenly they tripped over on a rug and impaled themselves on the antlers of the wall moose Nuka was on the right and maumbu was on the left". When they tripped their bodies flew forwards and straight into the antlers and impaled themselves through the head and straight to the brain and they died".
"Wow theyre dead that's d...e...a...d dead!!!!!!!".
Credits- same as show
Episode 7- death is pissed offEdit
"Death is here and he's pissed check out 7 of today's deaths". "A guitarist plays his final round"."a psychotic partyer goes down by a wire"."a tomboyish princess bows to close to the edge and falls"."a group of thieves get thrown of their boards"."a fat man loses his food then his life"."six insane girls get pushed and then slide then died"."and a Italian eat his last spaghetti then dies".
"Death is everywhere most of us try to avoid it other can't get out of its way"."everyday we fight a new war against germs,toxin,injury,illness,and catastrophe". "Theres a lot ways to wind up dead the fact that we survive at all is a miracle because everyday we live we face a 1000 ways to die".
43-guitar die note:
"Bonnie b was guitarist who worked for the happy animals with fazbear and chica"."Bonnie would play his guitar even if it was night and sometimes he played guitar in his sleep"."bonnie went to work as usual and when he heard about fazbear and chica's deaths he was very sad so when he finished his piece he jumped up and shout aggressive things about the place and as he did he tripped and impaled himself through the stomach by his guitar".
"Bonnie was quite an impressive guitar but when he heard his friends were dead he played he shouted and then he died".
"Pinkie was quite the partyer that she went her limits and wound up dead but how well heres what happen?:pinkie was performing as a clown when she stepped on a wire the wire snapped and she started acting crazy on the stage and thats because she was being electrocuted on the stage and she died on the middle of the floor".
"Pinkie was who played her hardest when time came to her she stepped on a wire got electrocuted and wound up in heaven".
"Sally was a tomboy she wore none girlish clothing and preferred a vest and some shoes and shorts"."she had a fetish for women making her a lesbian after she found boys annoying and also she is a princess which means shes loyalty which means she was the next but sadly she died how:"one day she bowed down too close to the edge of the castle's balcony and fell over the edge and she died".
"Sally thought she could live forever turns out on this show no one does and so she turned to the crowd and flipped over the edge and she ended up dead".
"Jet wave and storm were a trio of troublemakers who liked to steal gems rupies and emeralds from treasurey place such as rock valley and gem city one day jet decided they should rob the mobius bank when a rock hit him in the face and he realised an angry mob was after them they got on their boards and whizzed off when suddenly a rock hit his board and he fell storm and wave joined him after". "When they fell they hit some spikes and were dead".
"Jet wave and storm thought they could get away with Stealing not on this show fellas and gal".
"Gus is the world champ fattie and dead fattie and here's why?:"Gus was witty and stupid he ate and ate and ate until the restaurant billed him for the food and as he left he had a horrible tummy ache and his stomach popped and he wound up dead".
"Gus was a fattie who never cared about his weight and so his stomach exploded and he was dead"
48-insanity gone mad:
"Well here's a group of girls you don't wanna mess with meet rarifruit fluttershout rainbine pinkis cupcake Applepills and brutalight sparcake they were a group of girls gone insane". "One day they were going to a cafe because pinkis is was hungry ps for people but as they reached the cafe another group of six pushed them down the mountain and they died of multiple head cracks impalements and stabbing".
"These girls were insane so when a another group of girls gave them the shove they ended up dead and they laid together on the ground".
Mario was a big eater and he was also a plumber who made sure tubes were fitted in to stop flooding and over flows but one day mario had bowl of spaghetti which had a special ingredient in it was poison meant for bowser and when finished his spaghetti he died from poisoning".
"Mario had a life ate some spaghetti and wound up dead nough said".
Credits-same as show
episode 8- death can find youEdit
"Ahhh from a drunk guy who slices his neck to a human inferno we count seven of today's deaths"."a man turns into a walking inferno". "A woodchopper gets massacred"."a pogo athlete goes over a cliff". "A woman pops her head"."a drunk gets sliced". "Two bullies get a head job"."and a librarian gets booked down".
"Otto was the average dick we know and he died heres why?:"he was minding his beeswax when a fire started he ran to get out the building but then notice a burn son his shoes which spread when he tried to put it out in minutes he was minced meat and he knew it".
"Otto was average dick who went from dicky to just dead".
"Chip and Dale were woodcutters who chopped down trees it was a tiring job but someone had to do it they just wished it wasn't them but either way they were happy to know the sex sisters were on at the dragon den club for homosexual bisexual and gay lesbianonic people and drunkies they were just about done when a twig got so Dale climbed in and kicked the twig and it work but suddenly his legs got caught and he was shredded to meat".
"Dale thought that using his foot would work it did but it also sealed his fate".
52-pogo killed him:
"Pete is an everyday pogoer and dick to other pogoers he would constantly kick them off and sabotaged their springs causing 390 deaths from it one day Pete was on his way to Springer to get a new helmet meanwhile a pogoer who had enough of Pete's tricks sabotaged his pogo and ran just as Pete came out and Pete got on his pogo and started pogoing but as he jumped a spring snapped and his pogo went straight over a cliffside and He died".
"Pete was a dick looking for victims he killed 390 and then died himself".
"Penny L was the sight for many boys including vinnie too bad that she wasn't interested in them and more interested with her ribbons and her beauty to care about a boyfriend until she met Russell whom she grew a crush on". "That night she was getting ready for a ribbon competition when a ribbon get stucked and she pulls on it she accidentally falls into a air pump and air pumps straight to her head and it explodes".
"Penny L was a no good beauty and so when a hot beast came into her life she got pumped and then popped".
54-drunky says bye bye:
"Patrick had two affections in his life his stupidity and alcohol he would messing with his neighbours by smashing their Windows with a mallet or he would erect his penis out in front of them". "Patrick did eventually die how?:"he was drinking his beer to close to a makeshift and his arms cut off and he died of blood loss".
"Patrick was dumbo who drunk had fun and then died".
55-heads off 1 dead bulls:
"Bebop and Rocksteady were high school bullies looking for trouble and so trouble they caused and you're guessing did these guys die(looks to bodies) yes yes they did and this is why:"bebop and Rocksteady were gazing at their victims when a stray gear from a machine decapitated them and they were dead".
"Bebop and Rocksteady didn't care about rules and so they died by decapitation hell yes".
"Twilight was a book addict who took her eyes never from her book and eventually she died how?:"twilight was looking for a book and she found one it was under all the others not wanting to take forever on picking them up she pulled the underneath out and the books all came falling on to her and she died from a smashed skull".
"Twilight never took her eyes off her books and so they killed her goodbye twilight".
Credits-same as show
Episode 9-has death contacted youEdit
"Aww yeah from a lazy bum who gets signed off to a mountain climber who falls we count seven of today's deaths of course". "We have a car jacker who gets pumped"."a fattie who shreds his face"."a samurai fan who gets electrocuted"."a slider who cuts his stomach and loses some intestines"."a woman who gets cut in half in an elevator"."an animal killer gets rabies"."and two agents who take a tumble and die".
"Death is everywhere most of us try to avoid others can't get out of its way Everyday we fight a new war against germs,toxins,injury,illness,and catastrophe". "Theres a lot of ways to wind up dead the fact that we survive at all is a miracle because everyday we face a thousand ways to die".
"Tito was a hijacker looking for a vehicle to steal and to his luck a truck had pulled up"."the people in the truck were a new male driver and a female former wrestler who took the job as his boss"."tito ordered them to get out and they did and he died how?"the female boxer pushed into an air pressure tank and the air blew his body up like a balloon and tito popped".
"Tito was an asshole who liked to steal cars one day a boxer saw his ways and Tito went pop".
"Porky is an abusive husband to petunia and all he cared about alcohol and his windblower and he was proud of himself". "He always either drunk alcohol or airred him near the windblower"."one day porky drank a little too much and he felt dizzy and his face fell straight into his windblower and it was shredded in minutes with blood splattering on the wall"."and he died"
"Porky was a abusive pork who went from drunk to shred face".
"Po and his buddy hector were watching a samurai movie and decided to pretend to be samurais so they had a samurai fight which ended with hector on the ground on the floor and as po was about to land the final blow"."he hit a low hanging wire which was lose and he was electrocuted and he died".
"Po thought copying a samurai in a movie was a smart idea in the end he was electrocuted and he was no more".
60-slide and died:
"Gumball and his girlfriend penny were pool hoggers one day they jumped over a fence during while a construction team were building and they messed around with a nail gun"."Gumball saw a slip n slider and went for a ride not seeing the nail he fired from the gun earlier on he went over it and it ripped his stomach apart and he died as a combination of drowning and ripped intestines".
"Gumball thought that it was ok to mess with others property because in the end he slipped he slided and then he died".
"Trixie was an obnoxious manager who failed as a magician and she was a total bitch to her clients"."she would make fun of them and never shut up I bet you wished she was dead #looks to body# oh wait she is"."earlier on she had gotten in an elevator when it stopped she attempted to climb through the sliding doors when a another person wanted to use the elevator and she was cut in half her legs and butt were in the elevator while her face, chest and arms were stuck in the door and she died from a sliced body".
"Trixie was a bitch who never should of lived because in the end she died of rage".
"Hammy was a animal cannibal who stuffed their heads on walls around his store you see he lived in a head store where he would sell them to the customers and eat the intestines of the animal eventually he ate another daily squirrel and died from rabies".
"Hammy never cared about wildlife so when time arrived he was dead".
63-mission impossible 1 dead agents:
"Larry and shard were a pair of agents for silver who worked them to the max he would them to steal footage or take down the presidents on this fine night they had to rob a bank safe when they tripped and fell over the edge of the railing and they were dead".
"Shard and larry were a pair of suckers looking for a job they became agents then they died".
Credits-same as show
episode 10 - death is counting Edit
Ahh these fools have had a piece of their own medicine"."a bull figher gets horned"."an actor takes a eye fall of nails"."a fireman gets blazed"."a medic has a heart attack"."a clown gets squashed"."a wrestler snaps his neck"."and a sword swallower gets umbrellaed".
"Death is everywhere most of us try to avoid it others can't get out of its way Everyday we fight a new war against germs,toxins,injury,illness,and catastrophe". "Theres a lot of ways to wind up dead the fact that we survive at all is a miracle because everyday we live we face a 1000 ways to die".
"Papi is a Mexican bullfigher who has beaten all of the bulls except for Toro he has always had trouble with that one he'd usually get chased out of the ring and lose". "papi got annoyed so he made this his last attempt before quitting bullfighting". "But sadly papi forgot his red flag so Toro ran up to him and papi started running away he made it behind a wooden barricade but Toro was running so fast that he crashed through the barricade and papi was stabbed by one of toro's horns".
"Papi had quite a achievable goal too bad he got horned".
"Ace was an abusive and obnoxious actor who shouted at his buddies for stuff like a drink of foster or some cocaine he had been in loads of movies such as the genesis mover, rocket druggers and demons forgery". "He latest movie was guitarist dreams where he played the bad guy nathan kayne during recording he didn't notice a bag of nails had hanging on the edge of wall"."he did the end fight scene and was pushed into the wall the nails fell impaling themselves in his eyes and he died of eye injury".
"Ace was a dick who had no respect for his buddies and only cared about himself in the end he got nailed and then died".
"Fireman Sam was a huge asshole who actually wasn't even a fireman he had made a fake fireman pass and he was lucky enough that he didn't get found out but one day Elvis found out when they were on the stairs of Charlie's house". "Sam ran and then he was trapped behind a bed and drawers meanwhile Elvis had gotten everyone out and told Norris all about it". "Sam was finding it hard to breath he eventually ran out of breath and the flames had caught up to him and he was on fire in moments". "He died by fire and no breathing left".
"Sam thought faking being a fireman would get him anywhere but he was found out ran out of breath and then died by fire".
"Dr zoidberg was a drunk and unstable doctor who looked after patients by not caring and just drank and watched them die one day he was paid back for his carelessness by Mickey who had heard about his carelessness and scared zoidberg causing him to have a heart attack and die".
"Zoidberg was a drunkie who never gave up drinking and so he was scared and then dead".
"Puppet was a kids clown who liked to make them laugh and he was also a drunk who would drink whiskey in his van as he drove one day he decided to bring his alligator balloon with him"."when he stopped the balloon fell into a pump and was pumped up and eventually the balloon squashed him against his Windows and he died".
"Puppet had quite a stupid mind he was kids clown who turned into a drunk and wound up dead by the balloon".
"L was the town's best wrestler yet he like all the others died but how?:"L was going up against a huge opponent called the stranger who had won 32 by breaking necks of his victims". "L didn't want his neck to be broken so he ran to the rope, climbed up the rope then died"."L had snapped his neck when he preformed a backflip he caught it on the ground and it was crack he died in minutes".
"L didn't want the stranger to break his neck so he broke his own in the end muscles aren't as smart as brains".
"Tobias was the champ of sword swallowing who would amaze crowds by swallowing swords". "Sometimes he would take challenges from the audience today his challenge was to swallow old man Jenkins umbrella and he did but he accidentally released the umbrella by pressing the button and it folded Up in his windpipe and he died".
"Tobias was a sword swallower who swallowed the sword but choked by the umbrella".
Credits-same as show
episode 11-death has a new petEdit
"Ahhhhhhh sit back and enjoy these lunatics". "two bad girls get choked"."a tv host has a watery death"."a Bigfoot phony gets poisoned"."three bad guys have a impalement"."a midget gets launched"."A dick gets crushed in the head by his hot rod"."and a mud maker gets sunk".
"Death is everywhere most of us try to avoid it others can't get out of it's way Everyday we live we fight a new war against germs,toxins,injury,illness and catastrophe"." There's a lot of ways to wind up dead the fact that we survive at all is a miracle because everyday we live we face a 1000 ways to die".
71-bad girled out:
"Fiona and Alicia were the baddest girls around they were complete sluts to each other because they were lesbians who just recently met mina and lupe online they were ready for their bitches when a chain of a motorbike got caught round their necks and they died of strangulation".
"Fiona and Alicia thought being lesbians was a great thing because in the end they fucked,called and then died of strangulation".
72-watering canned tv:
"Derek was the news reporter for the weather he would start as a nice news reporter but once the cameras were off he turned into a right dick he lied to women about being interested in them but then betray them by saying news is more important than love". "He went home one night to attend a pool party and he accidentally knocked himself out and drowned to death in the pool".
"Derek had one thing life he was asshole who hogged the camera and ended up drowned
"A women was running through the woods when Bigfoot suddenly appeared and scared her away a park ranger seeing Bigfoot chase the woman smirked and then shot his gun into Bigfoot only it wasn't Bigfoot at all it was guy dressed up". "Rigby had lived in a cabin for years drinking beers seeing people on his territory he made himself a Bigfoot outfit to scare them away but when the ranger shot him the poisoned dart flew in his back and he died from poisoning".
"Rigby had no friends or buddies to mess with so he dressed up as Bigfoot scared some ladies and then died".
74-big bad baddies:
"Here are three of today's dick:
Drago was a banished dick who was banished for assaulting and raping a 20 year old girl and he also was a mass serial killer who ended up joining the T.H.U.G a criminal group of insanes drunks and masturbaters".
Sleuth was a retired security guard who ate too many mentos and played too much violent video games he too became a serial killer and ended up joining T.H.U.G".
"And finally Sgt simian who had left the military and just like the other two ended up as a serial killer and he too joined T.H.U.G".
"So how did they die well?:"they were on a mission to steal some metal poles for weapons when something blinded them and they couldn't where they were and they were impaled by the metal poles after tripping over a can a rock and a another pole which tripped them up and they fell and impaled themselves".
"Drago,sleuth and simian didn't see this coming they were blinded tripped and then impaled".
"Mickey was a normal assdick midget who loved to planking what is planking you ask?"its when lies down straight on their chests in weird places". "Mickey saw a soccer mom and shouted her to go away". "He then decided to plank on the see saw when a block of ice hit the other end and he was flung in the air landing on an arch of a swingset and died from ruptured ribs".
"Mickey thought he owned the playground but when a piece of ice ended his fun he went from planking to flying to finally dead".
"Woody was a hot rod car jumper who didn't like people looking at bo it made him jealous and he was pissed and told them to back away from bo". "The contest began and woody won but suddenly he fell and got his head squashed by the opponents car". "When woody got pissed earlier he forgot to screw in a screw and it bounced out and hit him in the cranium knocking him and he fell under the opponents car and his head got squashed and he died".
"Woody hated people going near his girlfriend bo but when he forgot to screw in a screw it hit him knocked him out he fell and then he died".
"Erma was the owner of a female club where she abused her clients by slapping their asses and knocking them to the ground one day erma decided to have a mud fight in the mud pit with her clients she almost drowned one but she was pulled out"."erma started shouting I win I win when suddenly she started sinking into the ground she screamed but noone helped her and she drowned in minutes in mud".
"Erma was a bitch who abused her colleagues and so one day she sunk and drowned in mud".
Credits-same as show
episode 12-death has a new messageEdit
"Ahhhhhhh oh god see what happens when a man gets hit in the neck or when a dick lawyer goes through a window yep they die especially on 1000 ways to die". "A seducer gets sliced"."a threesome of males get run over by a car"."a car stealer gets choked"."a threesome of rockers fall from their bed and hit the pavement". "A mugger gets beaten up"."and a butler gets cooked".
78-see her die bitchy seducer:
"Amy was a bloody seducer who caused men to faint by messing around with them". "She would do it anywhere store, cinema , theme park and even in a school she would seduce all the men". "One day she was at a lumberjack company and she died but how:"Amy was to seduce some lumberjacks but ended up with a thorn going through the side of neck and she bleed out and died".
"Amy shouldn't had a been a seducer because in the end she seduced she sliced and then she died".
"Vinnie, sunil and Russ were a bunch of noobs who messed around on the road dodging cars and drinking a large amount of beer wine and alcohol and they ran across the road". "One day Vinnie sunil and Russ were running across the road and ended up dead because of blindness from the alcohol they ran straight into a truck and were hit bodies were massacred and they were dead".
Vinnie sunil and russ should've had brains because they finale was drink run get hit and then die".
80-chokey that blokey:
"TF was a car stealer who would hit and run cars by throwing people out of them and then driving away with them and leaving the people on the pave". "One day he spotted a muscle nobix car and ran to it he stuck his head in through the window and checked the woman didn't see so she closed the window and TF was choked to death from the pressure on his neck and died".
"TF had a dick mind he stole cars and then they stole his life".
81-rock starred out:
"Manik,skye and Jacque were a bunch of teenage rebels who loved heavy metal music they rocked to it by screaming air guitaring headbanging and blasting the volume up super high one night they were rocking out dangerously close to a window and the trio fell through and landed on the pavement dead from fractured bones and internal bleeding".
"Manik skye and jacque were assholes to motherfuckers to nature Head banging screaming and air guitaring lead to fall through a window and that lead them to death".
"Ralph was a mugger who lived a life stealing purses and other things he was a rebel to the country and he knew it one day h was running and spotted a purse and ran to it grabbed it and tripped". "The lady started beating him up and killed him by hitting him in the neck which shut off his windpipe and he died".
"Ralph was a mugger who had cunning mind too bad he came across the wrong lady to mess with because he died by a neck punch".
83-butler cooked himself:
"Alfred was a butler who worked for Bruce and Tim in Wayne manor he hated his job he got no money and he could never leave one day Alfred was in the kitchen sulking when fell into the oven he thought he was safe but Bruce turned on the oven thinking it was Turkey and Alfred died from burnt skinage from the oven".
"Alfred was a butler who went from a sulking live butler to a dead one".
Credits-same as show
"Hi guys wadey here and welcome to season 2 of my own parody of a 1000 ways to die". "I've started a new selection of episodes continuing on from 83 so lets begin".
episode 13-death has no talent Edit
"Help me helpppp heh heh welcome to hell bastards watch as we show you another seven ways to die". "A fake shopper gets killed by a pool cover"."a safari tourist gets eaten by ants"."a foursome of swingers get blooded"."a chess player pro loses his life"."a movie director gets a sliced neck"."a caffeine endorser gets fizzed out"."and a footballer loses his head".
"Death is everywhere most of us try to avoid it others can't get out of its way"."everyday we live we fight a new war against germs,toxins,injury,illness and catastrophe". "There's a lot of ways to wind up dead the fact that we survive at all is a miracle because everyday we live we face a 1000 ways to die ".
84- drowning of the shopper:
"Zoe Trent is a fashion designer who steals outfits for rouge and rarity everyday she had to buy outfits for them well actually she didn't give them to rouge or rarity she kept them for herself"."One day she was walking home when rouge and rarity spotted her and gave chase after her"."eventually she arrived at her house and because she wasn't looking where she was going she tripped and fell on top of her pool cover and ended up drowning and struggling to get off the cover and she died".
"Zoe was a clothes theif who thought no better and ended up wrapped up and in the drink and dead".
85- ant anteater:
"Goofy and clarabelle were on a date in Africa and they were not happy goofy complained about that there was nothing here and clarabelle commented that this ride sucked so they got off despite the driver warnings". "They eventually started feeling hot and thirsty and went under a shady tree where they passed out"."when clarabelle woke up she saw goofy was covered in driver ants and was dead"."Goofy had passed out with mouth open so the ants went into his mouth biting at his skin and he was literally eaten alive". "Clarabelle was lucky she had put on a perfume that had ant repellent in it and she lived and ran screaming".
"Goofy and clarabelle were a bitchy couple that hated their ride they got off got thirsty and then goofy died".
"Dennis,Ralf,henry and Roger were a foursome of meanies of who terrorised the park of the kids from around their neighbours neighbourhood and they continuous scared all the nerdy teens and tiny kids by pulling faces and at them". "Their lives suddenly ended by swing how?:"dennis,Ralf,Henry and Roger were swinging when something different happened to all of them". "Dennis got hit by a out of control bike that hit him straight into chest and he died of a busted ribcage"."Henry was strangled by the swing's chains while swinging around and he died of strangulation"."Ralf was flung through the air and landed on a bench snapping his neck and he died from a ruptured neck bone". 'And Roger got hit in the face by a ball which decapitated him and he died of decapitation".
"Dennis Henry Roger and Ralf were a bunch of bratty and mean teens who wound up dead".
"Wallace was a chess player who would win every time no one could beat him and he bragged about himself and his luck but one day a new challenger got ready to try to beat him"."Wallace became frustrated and started sweating which unknown to him dripped on his fingers as he was about to put the cpu to checkmate"."Wallace placed down the pawn and started getting electrocuted why?:"because when he touched the board with his sweaty hands it sent a fuse of electricity up his arm and to his body and he was dead".
"Wallace was pro who bragged too much he went sweaty became frustrated and then finally died".
"Tom c was a mean spirited movie director who was very mean to his actors cameramen and his Mic men". "He was the worst director boss ever to live with and for 1 reason:" he was total dick". "Tom c was trying to remake a scene from north by northwest and to do so he has made a crew of midgets to take the role as Kerry and the woman from the movie and has used a remote controlled plane as the cropduster his crew consist of tico and isa who have had enough of his shit and beat him up"."the scene finally and tico starts running from the crop and jumps out of the way at last moment tom c however gets his neck sliced and he died from a vein injury".
"Tom c was a dick looking for a movie stars to remake a scene it failed and he wound up dead".
"Buster is a caffeine endorser who drank only red bull coke or 7up he was waiting for the job promotion but his boss was actually gay and so when the new guy came he gave the promotion to him"."Buster got angry and shouted at his boss then he died on the floor"."Buster didn't see it coming all the caffeine he drank had caused hyperactivity in his body and when he shouted the hyperactive stuff died and then he died with it".
"Buster thought he was cut for the job that was until he died of a caffeine overdose".
"Einstein is a footballer for Louisiana he had a thing for women where he'd flirted with a lot of women before and he was a great footballer appearing in magazines and on the news one day however his fame was dead and he soon followed after how?:"Einstein was running around the field trying to get to the ball and another footballer kicks the ball hitting Einstein's head causing it to decapitate and he died instantly".
"Einstein was a footballer with fame it ran out and then he got the head job".
Credits-same as show
Episode 14-death has a fever Edit
Ahhhhhhh from falling through a mat of a trampoline to getting stumbled by a bunch of rugby sit down and enjoy seven of today's deaths"."a gardener chokes on his own cucumber"."a mall drunk gets a flat face"."a trampolinist goes through the mat"."a texter gets hit by a car"."a robot inventor gets sliced"."a web surfer gets a electrifying experience"."and an Jewish clown boy goes down".
"Death is everywhere most of us try to avoid it others can't get out of its way"."everyday we fight a new war against germs,toxins,injury,illness and catastrophe"."theres a lot of ways to wind up dead the fact that we survive at all is a miracle because everyday we live we face a 1000 ways to die".
"Gromit was a gardener who loved his fruits and vegetables he thought he could win in the garden contest and his favourite were his cucumbers but sadly he died how?:"he was walking around with his cucumber when he stepped onto a rake the cucumber went into his throat and he died of choking".
"Gromit had a nice garden made lovely fruit and veg until one day he swallowed his cucumber and then he went green".
92-flat face macgie:
"Soarin is a drunk shopper psycho who went rock bottom on drugs and alcohol his life was dependent about screwing or messing around one day he spotted a mall called rock bottom (heh see what I did there)"."he was messing around with the equipment and found a piece of ham and called himself ham man but a guard who he'd been avoiding all day spotted him and gave chase"."soarin ran round a corner and slipped on the set doing a belly slide Straight into the canister causing them to toppled and land on his head squashing it".
"Soarin had a tendency to mess around too bad he has a flatface".
"Lyra was a trampolinist who loved trampoling that she never stopped she went a gymish area in town called kings trampolines where she bounced performed moves and bitched at talentless losers for not doing the trick right"."but the trampoline had been jumped on so many times by her that when she landed on the mat it spilt and lyra fell through mat and ended up dead on the floor"."the trampoline having gone through all that bouncing had made a rip in the fabric and when lyra on the trampoline it spilt open and she landed on the gym floor where it broke her butt and neck killing her".
"Lyra was a bitch who loved to bounce one day however she went full on the mat split and then she died".
94-texter sends a death will:
"Bonbon and springtrap would send each other texts and they never looked up at all they had gone through a break up and so they started bitching at each other on the phone"."Springtrap was driving a car looking at his phone texting and driving is dangerous and its against the law and bonbon was walking and texting and she never looked up to see cars coming so how do you think this tale's gonna end?:"bonbon was crossing the road and because she wasn't looking up she didn't see the car until she was hit and she died".
"Springtrap and bonbon were texting freaks who thought texting was the only important thing too bad it caused bonbon the price of her life".
"Timon was a robot inventor who created robots that terrorise his parents and he would make them fight each other in battle and his most prized robot that he made from a vacuum cleaner and a couple of electrical wires"."he used it against his puny robot the thing and beat it but as he left to go and get a drink and a snack he dropped a screw and went"."the robot that he turned off started up and cut his fingers off and then his legs and then it cut into his stomach and the arteries and he died of multiple slices".
"Timon was a robot inventor who created terrorised and then he got sliced".
"Dodger was a internet surfer geek who hacked and removed all trances of his searches and got rid of other people's work and they got mad at him for it but couldn't do anything because they didn't know where he lived". "One day dodger goes drowsy after a couple of hours pass and his head fell forwards hitting the screen and electrocuted him in the brain causing his death".
"Dodger was a computer nerd who had a computer he loved and so he drank tried to hug it and it electrocuted him".
"Krusty is a Jewish teenager who had moved from his home to see how life in our country was like before he does a bunch of work for the rest of his life he was a clown back in his country and he had to do clown business back in his town for the rest of his life"."a bunch of girls spot him and think he's wearing a costume and let him in"."at first Krusty was spooked but then a hot bitch came and show him how to party and in seconds Krusty was under her spell and was the life of the party that was until he drank a bottle of champagne and then went lights out"."Krusty didn't know it but he had a condition where he couldn't break down alcohol so it got stuck in his throat and he died of alcoholic poisoning".
"Krusty was a clown and a Jew who turned into the life of the party but hit the floor momentarily".
Credits-same as show
Episode 15-death is not a song Edit
Argh owwww! Hello bastards you happy no well too bad because everyone's gonna see you on this episode of a 1000 ways to die"."a tennis player gets an ass poke"."a dick fitness trainer gets a mouth impalement"."a tattoo artist gets chained up"."a belly dancer gets a strangling"."a violinist cracks her head"."two golfers fall down a moutain on a golf cart and die"."and an arcade thief gets a headache".
"Death is everywhere most of us try to avoid it others can't get out of its way". Everyday we fight a new war against germs,toxins,injury,illness,and catastrophe"."there's a lot of ways to wind up dead the fact that we survive at all is a miracle because everyday we live we face a 1000 ways to die".
"Oswald is a tennis player who had a serious temper and would shout at all the tennis ref who would give points to his opponent wald anti Oswald and this Oswald mad and so at the end of the tennis match he hit his tennis racket and ran at the ref and tried to kill him"."the ref was quick as for Oswald the chair fell and the racket went straight up his ass and he died from ruptured pelvis".
"Oswald was a tennis dick who hated a ref he went for revenge and wound up butt ruptured".
"Springtrap was a fitness trainer who loved skinny bitches and hated fatties he would try to get them to go away one day a fattie arrived and he hated her presence and decided to get out by teasing her because he'd get sued if he kicked her out so he teased her and teased her and teased her until she left in a fit of rage and accidentally dropped some of her snacks and Springtrap picked one up and shoved it in his mouth and started swearing at her but then the lousy fitness trainer started choking he did a do it yourself Heimlich Minerva and belly flopped onto a ball which sent him flying and landing on top a water sprinkler snapping his neck and killing him".
"Springtrap was an asshole who hated fatties he gave her a bitching and then got a new lesson learned in his life don't mess with fatties or they cause to choke and sprinkle paled".
"Thunderlane is a tattoo artist who did tattooing for people but they paid no attention their attention was on alpha(anti lupe) who had a split tongue and thunderlane got annoyed and tattooed the word douche bag in Chinese on a biker who came for a warrior in Chinese". "But thunderlane was sure he wouldnt find out and the next day he came back he had attached a chain from his mouth to his penis and called it the chainus"."but the girls were disgusted and worst the biker came back and gave chase to thunderlane but thunderlane got behind a something but worser the thing he was hiding behind was a lifter and the driver didn't see him so he lift the chains up and thunderlane bleed out and died".
"Thunderlane was tattoo artist who had a rivalry with alpha he got burned though by a biker and then wound up chainus killed".
"Sweetie drops is a belly dancer who worked part time in a Indian palace performing for the sultan and entering belly dancing competitions and being a real bitch"."she would say stuff like your body is as jelly as mine or do you know belly dancing?"."one day she was practicing for tonight's contest and she has a new scarf on which is long she starts dancing near a ceiling but ends up getting pulled up by her and hanging herself and killing herself too".
"Sweetie was a real bitch who life ended the same way it started get a hellish good time you jelly belly".
"Octavia melody was a violinist for junction city's formal preparation class 193 and was a very famous violinist winning trophies and being a bragger and a bitch to her competition". "The one thing octavia loved more violins was her hands she put special substance to keep them dry and she would not use them for anythjng else except for making food or driving but this eventually lead her to her death?:"Octavia was real clots when she got to the stairs she tripped and fell hitting her head on a wall and cracking her head killing her". "Because she refused to use her hands to save herself".
"Octavia melody was violinist who took a down fall and wound up cracked up".
"Scrat and scratte were quite bitchy and dicky couple who played golf almost everyday they had their fame because scratte was a special famous golfer but that fifteen minutes of fame were gone and all they did was whine at each other and get drunk". "They were driving in their golf kart but because scrat was drunk he couldn't see and they fell down a mountain and they died of a mixture of things".
"Scrat and scratte were meanish dickish and bitchish couple ever to live so they from drunkenness and calamity no wonder these two died".
"Thumper is an arcade thief who would hide till closing time when he would play the arcades undisturbed and steal cash from the game station where you get the tokens from"."one day he decided to hide behind a motion controlled miniature golf game screen but he got impatient and cut a hole in the screen and then got a headache how?"the player hit the ball swinging into his head shutting down his brain killing him".
"Thumper the gamer played some games stole some cash hid and then died".
Credits-same as show
episode 16 - death is a lot more complicatedEdit
"Ahhhhhh owwww! Hello and welcome to another episode of a 1000 ways to die today's seven deaths are?:"a racer gets a head ram"."a fashion designer gets a strangulation"."a maid gets ironed"."a builder takes a tumble". "A train driver goes choo choo"."a singer gets electrocuted and a lawyer goes for smash and fall".
"Death is everywhere most of us try to avoid it others can't get out of its way Everyday we fight a new war against germs,toxins,injury,illness,and catastrophe". "There's a lot of ways to wind up dead the fact that we survive at all is a miracle because everyday we live we face a 1000 ways to die".
"Roy was a race car driver who spun records on the race course of course and how did he win by cheating in every race he'd been in he would ram into other cars and spin them off the track luckily they never got hurt but their cars were so busted that they couldn't race anymore and that made them angry". "One day Roy was getting fitted up for his next race record while a certain racer who got rammed and kicked out of the competition came and meddled with Roy's controls on his Ferrari 98". "So when Roy started his car he couldn't control it and he ran straight into wall and was catapulted out off his car and hit his head so hard on the wall it cracked and he died of head damage".
"Roy was a racer who cheated for life too bad for him it's gone".
"Rarity is an bitchy fashion designer who tormented her little sister by making her wear her distinguished clothes and she got fed up with her when she used her diamonds for a piece of art she was doing and this was the final straw her sister quit and rarity was angered by this that she didn't notice her scarf she got earlier get caught in a wrangler as she pulled the scarf"."she started getting strangled and ended up hitting the on button causing it to pull into the wrangler luckily she didn't end up flattened by the wrangler but she couldn't breath and she died by strangulation".
"Rarity was pitiful fashion designer who ended up fashionated".
"Whitnee sq was the acorn nutcases Ltd maid who would look after the precious items in which case she'd steal them and hide them in her house because no one would suspect a maid stealing things". "But fate may have it whitnee sq was doing the ironing when a guard came in he saw the precious stolen and rushed to arrest her as she tried to escape she slipped on a wire and the iron landed on her face burning her face and killing her".
"Whitnee had no better mind than to steal because in the end she got ironed out".
"Bob was a irresponsible builder who worked at sunshine new state buildings with his fellow builders and was lazy as fuck he would ask his fellow builders to help him do things that he can probably do on his own". "One day Bob was being lazy as normal and ask his co worker to pull him on an incline". "An incline you may ask is where one load pulls things up and other things down but a big guy like Bob should've thought twice about his plan because as he reached the top the rope snapped and he plummeted to his doom and he died from minor injuries and a broken spine".
"Bob was a fat lazy bastard who took a tumble and never got up".
109-Thomas the killer engine:
"Bertram is an engine driver who worked for warden sapphire where he would drive his passengers around the island on his train the speedbleeder"."Bertram had one thing though he was a complete dick to the passengers and he would get really frustrated if they didn't shut up"."Bertram however learnt the hard way because as they passed a bridge Bertram fell hitting grounded rails and was run over by his own train ouch". "He died from being teared by the train wheels and getting hit by the front".
"Bertram was a train driver loser who fell got hit by a train and then died".
"Mina is a famous bitch who worked for wartime studies rockers as a singer who would sing for her crowd and get the crown every year and would be a bitchy bragger to her friends because of her crown which caused fallouts and ended friendships". "One thing you need to about mina is she hated competition and would always prank fellow singers by spicing their drinks or by dropping sacks on them". "When it was her turn mina got on stage but then suddenly slipped and face first into an eel tank and got electrocuted"."early some girls had been finding a way to stop mina from her bitchiness so when she got on stage they blindfolded the judges and the audience and threw some water on the stage when mina stepped on the water she fell and hit the water full of eels left by one of the girls and was electrocuted".
"Mina was a bitch she sang her last and then went for a slip and was electrocuted".
"J t d was a business lawyer who hit on the ladies by doing a little trick he liked to call window running where he'd run at a window and because of the glass it would always bounce him back"."one day j t d was interviewing a new lass with a nice ass and was about to do his signature trick and started running Maybe the lawyer ran out of luck because as he hit the glass it smashed and he fell hitting the ground breaking all his bones and he died of fractured bones".
"J t d was a sleazebag who went for a run and never stopped and this caused his fatal falling demise".
Credits-same as show
Episode 17-death gets rockedEdit
"Death is a terrifying experience for one reason you never wake up". "A sleeper dies in her sleep"."a booby trap maker gets lazered"." A parkourist gets piped"."a zookeeper gets mauled"."a king gets beheaded"."a harmonica player chokes on his harmonica"."and a group of south African dancers get kicked out".
"Death is everywhere most of us try to avoid it others can't get out of its way Everyday we fight a new war against germs,toxins,injury,illness and catastrophe". "There's a lot of ways to wind up dead the fact that we survive at all is a miracle because everyday we live we face a 1000 ways to die".
"Babs was a grim sleeper every night she had the same nightmare of a devilish gnome strangling her in her sleep and she always knew that one night she would die so she did"."after a hard day at work she shut her eyes and she never woke up or moved again". "She died of sunds".
"Babs was scaredy sleeper who fell asleep and never woke up".
"Rutan loved to make booby traps to mess around with like to stop intruders from entering his bedroom or house or to pull a big prank on them"."his prized booby trap was his laser slicer which he'd had just invented its motive was if anyone came in it would them to pieces and they'd just be mince meat". "rutan was getting hungry so decided to go to his door and open it to get food from down but as he came back in his laser 9000 switched on and in minutes rutan was sliced and diced to pieces with blood everywhere and all that left was his snack with an added snack his brain".
"Rutan was a dick who made booby traps for his living too bad he got lazered eh".
"Mephiles is a parkourist who performed many tricks as wall running, speed vaulting over obstacles and his signature flip spinball another thing to note about mephiles was that he was an asshole to his parkour buddies because he thinks that their tricks suck and so he challenged them to a race"." He was far at the back so he did dick move and than he flip over a wall and spindashed straight into a pipe and impaled himself through the neck destroying his trachea and he died of neck impalement".
"Mephiles was a dick parkourist who shot off a wall and piped".
"Cream is a zookeeper who had to take care of the animals including lions tigers hyenas monkeys kangaroos and rhinos also many others and but she hated cleaning up the elephant shit and hated working here too she was a bitch to the animals she always said "move you beasts or stupid ugly bastards". "This made the animals very mad one day she had to feed a grizzly when the bear attacked her and mauled her to death the only thing left was her hat and food dish".
"Cream was bitch who hated being a zookeeper so she went to a bear cage and wound up mauled".
"King k rool was a mean king he didn't care about the townspeople all he cared about was their taxes and if they didn't have any left he'd throw them in prison for refusing to give him money but eventually he paid the price as the townspeople busted out of jail and took down his guards and caught up to him"."King k rool was thrown into a torture device and was beheaded".
"King k rool was a mean king who took no life to helping his townspeople so they took back whats their and the king was dethroned and beheaded".
"Crunch is a harmonica player who played it to his unamused girlfriend who grew bored of it so he picked up his drums and decided to try again to no avail so he strapped cymbals to his drums but again she was unamused but this time she hit the harmonica causing it get stuck in his throat and he died of choking".
"Crunch was a harmonica who had a unamused girlfriend he tried again but ultimately he swallowed his harmonica and had a choking of music".
"Wow welcome to the African dance contest 25 minutes later omg what happened here I'll tell you?"simba nala kovu kiara sarabi and mufasa we're going to preform for an audience their dance it started off great there were knee slapping flips loud foot floor hits and many other things at the end they were getting ready to perform their leg kicks they lifted their legs and started kicking them in the air but their legs were to close to their heads and they kicked their heads causing them to bleed out from all the kicks and they died of head damage".
"Simba,nala,kiara,Kovu,sarabi and mufasa were a african group who wanted to become famous but their legs were too high and they got kicked out".
Credits-same as show
Episode 18- death is a gruesome thing Edit
All rise from graves as we show you the ways you died". "A jock squashed by a bed"."a peeping Tom gets his head caught in a window"."a artist gets choked by his own brush"."two lovers get the impalement"."a pilot takes a falling"."a astronaut gets suffocated"."and a grand chiefess gets burned all this and more on a thousand ways to die".
"Death is everywhere most of us try to avoid it others can't get out of its way Everyday we live we fight a new war against germs,toxins,injury,illness and catastrophe there's a lot ways to wind up dead the fact that we survive at all is a miracle because everyday we live we face a 1000 ways to die".
"Butch is a jock who shared a room with a nerd called bean who he had sit outside the room whenever he had sex with a hot cheerleader and would perform many things on the chick such as kissing thrusting fucking humping and masturbating". "One night bean met a nerdy hot girl and decided to have sex with her so the roles were switched bean was doing the fucking and Butch was under the bunk bed telling them to cool it down because they were shaking the bed when suddenly a support beam snapped and the bed fell crushing Butch who was underneath and killing him".
"Butch was a jock who liked to fuck women one night his nerdy buddy brought a women in and he got crushed".
"Silver is a peeping Tom who loved to spy on his female neighbours by peeping through their Windows and looking at their big boobs nice asses and slim stomachs". "Silver had never actually been caught because he always hid out of from the ladies however one night a female got a lollipop from the fridge and started rubbing it on himself making silver exhausted with delight so he made a mistake he looked in too hard and the woman spotted him silver was startled by this and tried to escape but as he struggled the window fell on his neck crushing his windpipe and he died of a neck fracture".
"Silver loved looking at the hot women but one night he made a mistake and he paid for it".
"Grumm was an artist who made beautiful paintings perfect sculptures and many other things the thing is though grumm was a pervert who did art for one thing he wanted some booty and so he would create things to impress they were impressed but refused to have sex with him so when a woman said no"."grumm boiled with anger and hit a sculpture in rage but the sculpture caused him to swallow his paint brush and he choked to death on his brush".
"Grumm had a sick mind he made art and he died from it".
"Antoine and bunnie were a lovely groupish couple why because they loved to have sex in any place from their to the parking lot eventually they decided to do it in the woods"."Antoine got his junk off and bunnie got into position but as were about to thrust something startled them and ended up rolling down the mountain and impaling themselves into a tree branch and they died of impalement".
"Antoine was a dick and bunnie was a bitch they had sex where ever they were and ended up tree branched together".
"Robber was a pilot for the royal air society nation and he was a big asshole to the his co pilot and he knew for one that he thought he'd never die but lets see what happens?:"robber was flying across the Antarctic ocean when the plane swayed around and a stewardess fell crashing into him the stewardess was okay but the collison caused robber to hit the eject button and he was flung out off the plane and he died of falling just as before he hit the water".
"Robber was a pilot who hated his co pilot and so one day the wind got revenge and robber took a falling".
"Venya was a astronaut who took part as a new recruit for the space station team but he wound up dead but how?Well venya was a dick to his astronaut he kept saying how good he was as an astronaut even though this was his first time he had done a astronauting once venya was out of the he looked around but because he kept getting farther away from space ship the more his tube became loose eventually the tube popped out and venya suffocated due to the space air".
"Venya was a astronaut who bragged he got his dessert when he got tube a cated".
"Lupe was the grand chiefess for her people and it was duty to lead them through tough decisions and through wars against other clans they were great allies for the acorn palace and one day they decided to have a feast so they made a boiling station and set the wood on fire just as lupe was about to eat her food she noticed a bit of fire had gotten on her cape but she just patted it out but that made it worse the fire spread and burned lupe alive"."Lupe had sat to close to the fire so as she ate a spark got her cape when she put out the fire spread which caused her skin and she died of being cooked alive".
"Lupe was the chiefess for her clan but the feast caused her to die by the fire".
Credits-same as show
episode 19- death gets healthyEdit
"Well here's a death show you look forward to watching"."a mad scientist gets electrocuted"."two men die on the same day in different countries"."a basket ball player gets hung"."a bowling player get skittled"."a pair of morons get cactised"."a skateboarder gets cemented"."and two disc jockeys gets disced".
"Death is everywhere most of us try to avoid it others can't get out of its way Everyday we live we a new war against germs,toxins,injury,illness and catastrophe"."there's a lot of ways to wind up dead the fact that we survive at all is a miracle because everyday we live we face a 1000 ways to die".
"Dr. Kintobor was a mad scientist who plotted to take over the world so he could make his ultimate laboratory in the continuity space when he rids all freedom fighters and one day decided to use a special laser gun on one participant but just as he tried to the weapon backfired and electrocuted Kintobor to death".
"Dr. Kintobor should been less careless because when there's a way there's always a death".
127-same day dumbos:
"Two participants will shown today being killed but their deaths were at the same time let's see:
"Dag was a drunkie from USA who decided to bungee jump off a cherry picker so he did and he ended up hitting the ground dead because the rope he was attached to became undone and he fell breaking all his bones and killing himself".
"Farley was a drunkie from Spain who decided to make a new sport called mattress surfing where the objective was to stand on the car and see how long you can stand but the rope became undone and farley fell off the roof hitting ground breaking all his bones".
"What do we have to say about dag and farley get some minds you morons".
Slagar was a basketball player who made fun of the other basket ball players for having bad aims he had been in many classes and considered himself a pro despite being completely rubbish eventually he decided his finisher dunk and scored a hoop"."he did a victory but moving his head through the net back his necklace got stuck and he accidentally hung himself".
"Slagar was mean player who scored his goal and then hanged himself for death have fun satan".
129-bowled skittled and dead:
"Norman p was a bowling player who was quite rubbish to be honest he only took one pin at a time but he thought of himself as a good player who dictated how he was the best but his opponent had put glue in his finger holes so when Norman threw the ball he went with it and got skittled"."when he threw the ball the ball pulled him with it so when the skittle machine picked up the blade punctured his stomach and Norman was dead".
"Norman p was a bad player he thought himself a champion and wounded punctured out".
"Gurrad and oilback were cactus collectors who drank heavily and kept the cactises to themselves where they'd drink and collect keep eventually Gurrad and oilback had gotten a new cactis called saguro which was 6 foot and started drinking and hallucinating the cactus saying it's gonna to kill them so they ran and met their ends Gurrad got impaled by a larger cactus and oilback got killed by a smaller saguro which pierced his eye and brain".
"Gurrad and oilback were drunkies who collected drank and finally died".
"Bold was a skateboarder in Seattle who used to be famous but his fame soon ran out and he became a low dow skateboarder who smoked and drank alcohol he also liked to skate in dangerous areas like construction sites and other dangerous places but he eventually hit a rock and fell on some cement and in minutes he was stoned in and he died of asphyxiation by swallowing a mouthful of sand".
"Bold was a skateboarder who lost his fame and wound up cemented".
"Soos and vinyl were the best djs in the world and were ready for a disc off so they spun their discs and scratched out loud and but eventually they became dizzy by the spinning and they ended up falling onto the disc players and the machines slashed at their faces and they died from face fractures".
"Soos and vinyl were the best djs in the world but they eventually got disc slashed".
Credits-same as show
Episode 20 - will death be kind of course notEdit
"Death is a permanent thing from a guy getting killed from a fart or a chilly picker who drinks a cup of snake venom". "A sports coach gets javelined"."a masturbater gets stung by scorpions"."a sensai gets a rib kick"."a lesbian gets choked by some candy"."two morons who get eaten by sharks"."a liar who takes to the skies but dies". "And a gang thug gets a head over heels experience".
133-eye for a javelin:
"Buck was a sports coach who at this time was teaching some students javelining where you throw a large stick with a spike attached to the top and see how far it goes"."Buck was impatient with his students so he showed how to do it and threw it really far and ran to get it but forgot the one thing teachers tell kids always look where your going so you guessed correctly"."Buck runs to get it tells his students that's how they do it but when he turns back round he runs into the javelin and his eye gets penetrated"."and he died of his brain malfunctioning and stopped".
"Buck was sports coach who thought no better he got impatient with his students and ended up getting a eye for a javelin".
"Badrang was a lawyer who checked out hotels to see the condition and slept there to see how it was but once inside he would close the curtains and shut the door take his clothes off and start masturbating and when the staff came back he told her there was semine on the bed and he decided to stay the night but that night badrang got stung by a bunch of scorpions and died of multiple poisons in his body".
"Badrang was a masturbating lawyer who ended up getting stung".
"Shifu was a kung fu sensei teacher for his judo club members who he would train to see who could beat him and become the top kung fu champion that was easier said than done because shifu was unbeatable and he'd brag about being the best"."but one day shifu gets a taste of his own medicine and when fights a more powerful student he ends up getting launched in a wall with a kick to the ribs which broke his ribs and he died from a fractured ribs and a messed up spine".
"Shifu was a sensei who got the job he bragged beat some students and then got the rib kick".
"Hmm what do we have here a wife cooking for her husband nope it's a women cooking for a women meet sugar belle and nightglider these two were the hottest chicks who got sexually interested in one another and married up in las Vegas"."their friends were surprised to hear that they were lesbians and they were getting married in las Vegas wow who knew these two would end up married ahem anyway nightglider had got home from work and found that sugar belle had burned the veggie pie but she said she could at least have dessert". "Dessert in question was d strings covered over sugar belle's body and all nightglider had to do was chew but just as nightglider grabbed another g string the string snapped and the candy got lodged in her throat and she died from choking from the candy getting stuck in her throat".
"Nightglider was a lesbian who loved to marry women but she got candy on the women and wound up candy choked".
"Crosstooth and skalrag were two drunk buddies who loved to sail the seas and pretend to be pirates and sailors one thing these didn't know is that the water they were sailing on was infested with hammerhead sharks who loved the blood of people so when crosstooth and skalrag had gotten far enough the sharks attacked and knocked the drunks into the water and devoured them in minutes all that was heard were the screams of crosstooth and skalrag the boat being knocked over and the crunching of flesh and bones".
"Crosstooth and skalrag were the drunkest buds in the whole world but they got knocked down and wound up deep blue devoured".
"Hisk was quite a liar to his friends and family he'd lie about the weather he'd lie about monsters and mostly he'd lie about that he could fly and so one day someone told him to prove it so he ran off a building but soar at all and came falling to the ground cracking his bones".
"Hisk was a liar who took a dare but he jumped too slow and fell to his doom".
" Geoffrey st John was a agent who quit his job and went the life of a thug so he decided to join the T.H.U.G the gang team who terrorised the streets of Asia by terrifying the game of people passing by by scaring them away with masks or by beating them up"."one day geoffrey had one last thing to do to join T.H.U.G he had to survive the beat down where the gang would punch and kick you and see if you can survive geoffrey survived and was allowed in the club"."but as he was walking home a rival gang had killed a man and threw him over the bridge and the man fell into geoffrey's head and he died of a fractured skull".
"Generally Geoffrey should stayed an agent but his mind got the better of him and then Geoffrey went bye bye".
Credits-same as show
Episode 21- hey death 21! Hah your bonkersEdit
"Hey death watchers check out these morons"."we have a female magician who gets the bullet"."a hacker who gets hacked at the skin"."a doofus who's allergic to latix"."a hottie gets that gets a blood red face"."a beauty songwriter who gets caulked"."a smoker who goes up in flames"."and a patient who gets sex rayed".
"Death is everywhere most of us try to avoid it others can't get out of its way Everyday we live we fight a new war against germs,toxins,injury,illness,and catastrophe there's a lot of ways to wind up dead the fact that we survive at all is a miracle because everyday we live we face a 1000 ways to die".
140-??? Magicians bullet throat:
"Mangle was a magician who could do many tricks such as escape a straight jacket or pull some doves out of her sleeves one day mangle decides to do the bullet trick"."the bullet trick in question is when you put a false bullet in your mouth while someone else shots another false towards the mouth mangle had her ex friend foofy do the trick but her friend was sick of her mangle's bragging so she snuck a real bullet in the gun and shot the bullet didn't go into mangle's mouth it hit her neck and she bleed out and died".
"Mangle was a successful magician who took the bullet and ended up neck bleed".
"Phineas was a hacker who loved to hack into people's personal stuff whether photos, history or just plain websites he'd look at it all and he'd also report them for nothing online on his ps3 or Xbox 360"."one day finished off a new invention he had been working on called the hacker 6000 which could hack anything including because as he walked princess slipped over a screw and fell into his machine and his organs skin and much more were hacked and compacted and he died of shredding".
"Phineas was a hacker who took a tripping and wound up hacked out".
"Gil loved the ladies he was in a sex where he could choose from a hot African a French maid or a dominatrix who chose him once he was inside he got put into a latix suit and tortured him for sex and she loved getting it on first she tied him to a chainwall next she whipped him with a whip and he cried out with enjoyment well actually he was crying because he was allergic to latix in minutes his body burned from the rashes and he was gone".
"Gil was a sex lover who got to choose the dominatrix chose him and he ended up rashed out".
143-blood red slim bitch:
"Chicadee more well known as cc was a slim bitchy stripper who got the men's heart racing she loved her job but theirs another thing you need to know about cc she was a complete bitch to the other strippers who she would snigger at and she would say they're fat compared to her"."one day cc decides to go foxy on stage so she uses a special paint and goes onto the stage but the paint she used was actually a poisonous chemical which went into her body and she died of poisoned overdose".
"Cc was a bitch who wanted to go foxy but instead she became a blood red hot dead body".
"Whisper was a songwriter who wanted to impress big G but her butt wasn't big enough and she left in a sad mood so she decided to get butt implants to satisfy big G and so that night she got into her hottest dress and went on down to show big G her new big ass"."big G was on her like no tomorrow and whisper was enjoying it but as she was about to celebrate her body became dizzy and she died of caulk infection because the doctor she hired was a fraud and he had accidentally hit an artery and caulk went straight down shutting her body down".
"Whisper was a songwriter whos ass was too small so she went to a fraud doctor then she wasn't alive at all".
"Roderick was a smoker who loved to smoke cigarettes for days on end this eventually caused his house to burn and also made his health bad so he ended up wrapped up in bandages at the hospital and in a wheelchair"."one night he asks the nurse if he could get some fresh air the nurse said yes but no smoking but once the nurse left Roderick popped out from his hidden stash of cigars and ironically there was a no smoking sign"."but once Roderick lit the cigarette he set his bandages on fire and accidentally pulled the brake off and drove straight into a tanker which exploded he died of burning and getting blown up".
"Roderick was a smoker who liked a good cigar but one day the cigarettes set him on fire and he got doubled".
"Zazu was a patient who came to Williams death hospital heh good name great for this segment ahem anyway he had just gone into the x ray room to get his brain looked for examination when the doctor and nurse started to have sex in the ray room but while having sex they hit the button repeatedly shoot a load of flashes into zazu's brain and it shuts down his brain and he died of multiple scan flashes which fried his brain".
"Zazu was a normal guy who wanted a scan up but when the doc and nurse had sex he got flashed".
Credits-same as show
Episode 22-death loves this showEdit
"Wow this show is so deathie that even satan would love it"."we have a decapitater who loses his head"."a baby man who closes the gate on his neck"."a dirt eater who eats herself to death"."a chef who gets cooked by hot water"."a bunch of twits who drink acid"."a drama coach who gets an electrocution"."and an asshole who gets the impalement all this and more on another episode of 1000 ways to die".
"Death is everywhere most of us try to avoid it others can't get out of its way Everyday we fight a new war against germs,toxins,injury,illness and catastrophe there's a lot ways to wind up dead the fact that we survive at all is a miracle because everyday we live we face a 1000 ways to die".
"Tayo was a decapitater who work for farmers to keep smugglers away from their poppy plants there other ways of killing smugglers put their in a box full of rats and let the rats eat the inside of your brain"." Tayo's method was to use a katana and decapitate the victims and places on poles to warn others in the future"."Tayo receives a call about two smugglers who stole some poppy plants from another farmer and so gets on his quad and goes to find them"."he eventually finds them and gives chase but this decapitater had forgotten something (slice!) He put some barbed wire fence out to decapitate runners but the first and only victim was Tayo himself"."when his neck went through the barbed wire it sliced the tissue and the strain caused his head to fly off and he was dead".
"Tayo had a things for heads he'd chop them off pedestrians put them poles and said they were his but truth be told his plan eventually failed and Tayo got barbed out (head shown on a pole)"
"Aw look a daddy setting up a room for a baby who's the lucky baby well actually the baby is the dad and the mother is his wife the baby man's actual name is Tommy and he was an actor for a baby commercial reel for the tv "."he enjoyed nappy time and stuff like that a baby likes eventually though his wife has to go on a business trip and baby dad has a temper tantrum and whacks his teddy on his cot and throws him out now he's done it he wants his bear so he goes through the gate of the cot to get it but all the force causes the cot gate to fall and crush his neck and he died of asphyxiation".
"Tommy thought dressing up as a baby meant he was one but this goo goo is now gone gone".
149-dirt eaten u:
Wilma was a business who had gone through a lot of stress so one of the things she'd was jump over her neighbour's fence and chow down on some dirt because she the appetite to eat dirt because of depression stress and disappointment". "The following day Wilma has a poorly sensation in her body and starts vomiting and after more hours of eating dirt she eventually goes into a coma and dies".
"Wilma loved to eat dirt but the dirt decided to fight and put this bitch to sleep".
"Vito is a chef who works at a pizzeria where his boss monitors what all his chefs are doing his boss hates his co-workers and loved vito's cooking of meatballs, pizza, and his garlic bread"."Vito had a secret though he would steal his boss's recipes and make them at home he was never caught lucky bastard but one night as his boss left he picked up his boss's recipes from his pocket"."Vito heard something and hid dropping the recipe sheets and got inside the dish washer it was the boss he picked up the recipe sheet and took it out with him but vito didn't know that he was gone and stayed in there eventually the cleaner and turned on the dishwasher which proceeded to cook him alive killing him".
"Vito was no different then anyone else because on this show even chefs die".
"Verne ozzy and rj were a gang of a trio who lived in a rundown house in Mississippi and all they did was dumb ozzy was being brought into the group but first he needed to pass the initiation which was one of the finger was covered in acid until they did enough ozzy passed it and was a member of the group"."they decided to celebrate with alcohol but this alcohol has a stinging taste to it that's because the alcohol they were drinking was actually acid as they drank the acid slithered down their throats and burned their insides and they died of sizzling skin muscles and other things".
"Verne rj and ozzy if only they had brains because when it came down to it they grabbed the wrong drinks and then became acid drunk".
"Skinner was a drama coach who'd teach his students to act in Liverpool high drama school where he'd teach them how to act sad happy angry and frustrated be careful of Skinner because when he gets angry you won't like him". "Get back to work". "The students grew tired of his stubborn tantrums and left the drama stage that night Skinner was stuck doing all the roles it was going great until he fell on exposed wires and electrocuted himself".
"Skinner was a stubborn drama coach who lost his students and then his life".
"Kai was a asshole who was a mean guy to his friends his family animals plants and machines all he cared about was himself and noone else well one day he came across a bunch of peeps at a skate park but they chased him out he started aggravating them"."the skaters have had enough so they chased through the street kai escaped through an alley way and ran straight into a standing pole and impaled himself on it killing himself".
"kai was an asshole who cared about noone but himself so he got chased by skaters ran down an alley way and ended up breathless".
Credits-same as show
episode 23-death needs a bandageEdit
"Smasssh hi boys and girls welcome to the new show you've just found watch as we show you 7 of today's deaths"."a skydiver forgets his parachute"."a snake handler gets bitten"."a hotel employee gets peepie"."a pair of morons who created a bong that blew up like bomb"."a druggie who gets over drugged in a toilet"."a wrestler who cracks his skull"."and a derp gets crushed all this and more on a 1000 ways to die".
"Death is everywhere most of us try to avoid it others can't get out of its way Everyday we fight a new war against germs,toxins,injury,illness, and catastrophe there's a lot of ways to wind up dead the fact that we survive at all is a miracle because everyday we live we face a 1000 ways to die".
"Kipper was skydiver who would jump out of like no other person would this was because Kipper was a superb dare devil who used to do tricks on his skateboard, his bike, and his scooter when saw an advert on tv about skydiving he took to this opportunity to go for it and so here we are back we started"."Kipper was ready to jump but without listening he jumped out the plane and forgot to put a parachute on and he fell screaming hitting at 10000mph and he was dead".
"Kipper was a dare devil who decided to do skydiving he forgot his parachute however and wound up a splat runway".
"Roco was a snake handler who handled any snakes from cobras to vipers to adders and he loved his job only thing not mention he was also an asshole if anyone tried to get near his snakes he'd scared them off and out the door"."but one day the snakes have had enough and they decided to teach this asshole a lesson so as Roco closer to his cobra the cobra jumped at his hand and gives it a bite there was enough venom inside his body to cause him shut it down and he died of poisoning".
"Roco was a mean asshole who only cared about his snakes one day the snakes decided to take out their master and Roco was gone (hisssss!)"
156-hotel peeped out:
"Zeke was the hotel's most prized pervert he loved to watch the ladies do things similar to porno and he enjoyed every second of it he was just watching another woman when a fellow worker came in and saw him and then found out he didn't work there and ran after zeke"."zeke needed to escape but as he was running he slipped on some water and fell through a window and hit the ground although he had landed on a mattress there was still enough force to crack his back and he was dead".
"Zeke was a pervert who loved watching girls get porny but when his secret was finally revealed he ran he slipped he fell and then he got mattressed out".
"Neon and flash were weed suckers they loved the stuff marijuana was their main thing in life though the assholes knew it was bad for their health they didn't give a shit and one day the assholes decided to create their own bong out of clay, Orange skins and many other things"."they decide that they should test it at their friends house and wait for it to boil but they grow impatient with waiting and throw cigarette in but the mixture of the cigar and carbon dioxide causing the tank to explode killing them".
"Flash and neon were weed suckers who made a bong which blew up in their faces like a bomb".
"Seto was a drug addict who loved a good amount of lsd cocaine and bong ducking one day however he ran out of drugs and was devastated by this eventually one of his fellow mates said he could get high on Toilet feces all he had to do was shit and inhale the air of it however seto starts getting so addicted to it that he can't stop all day he eventually finds a porta potty and takes a shit then put his head inside of toilet seat but struggles to get it out and keeps inhaling the feces eventually he suffocated due to the feces inhaled over his nose and he dies of over highness".
"Seto the inhaler who couldn't get enough sadly though this freak is now just a dead one".
"Wilbur was a wrestler who loved nothing more than to fuck women and perform stupid stunts like running through a wall or breaking some wood with his head"."Wilbur was up mischief again and this time to call his prostitutes to his house and he starts fucking and then performs a dumb stunt and runs at a wall and cracks his head on a 2x2 stud and dies of a fractured skull".
"Wilbur was a wrestler who loved the ladies but when his time came he ran at the wall hit a 2x2 stud and died".
"Derpy was just that a derpy girl who also was a klutz knocking down pillars or breaking down walls and you'd be amazed to see that she survived all this without a scratch or bruise and amazingly it was spectacular sight seeing her still alive but one day derpy had to an abandoned building"."when she got inside she was dumbfounded by the scenario and accidentally broke a bar causing a pillar to come tumbling down on her killing her by crushing her".
"Derpy was the derpiest girl in town who survived all the madness only for it to rub it in her face with a pillar coming crashing down".
Credits-same as show
episode 24-death has a queueEdit
"Woahhh! Owwww hi everybody and welcome to the next episode of a 1000 ways to die". "We have a liquor drunk woman get mowed"."a mercenary who blank shoots himself"."a pair of robbers who get slushed out by a magician"."a rocket engineer who gets flamed"."a pervert who gets shit canned"."a car instructor who gets air bagged and a angry man has a acid bath".
Death is everywhere most of us try to avoid it others can't get out of its way Everyday we fight a new war against germs toxins injury illness and catastrophe there's a lot of ways to wind up dead the fact that we survive at all is a miracle because everyday we live we face a 1000 ways to die".
"Vicky was a drunk who'd go down to the shop buy some liquor for her and her friends you see they took it in turns today it was Vicky's turn"."but on this faithful day Vicky had become drunk and decided to drive to the liquor store on a mower but she forgot two things one? It never a good idea to go on a mower and two? she undoubtedly went passed a stop and the police started chasing". "She decided to drive into the grass but hit some rocks and fell onto the ground she was relieved that she had evaded the cops but just as she was celebrating the mower turned around and drove onto of her and scraped at her skin causing her stomach,head and legs to rip open as blood splattered out of the machine onto the screen".
"Vicky was a drunk who couldn't care less but once she found she was going die it was too late and she mowed out".
"Soap was a mercenary whos wife had left him and his daughter after a court case which he won because of this he forced his daughter to do everything and If she invited anyone he'd scare them off by shooting blank bullets"."one night However he allowed his Daughter to have guy in her as long as they didn't have sex but when he got back he saw them doing something with paper and asked what they were doing and shot the guy with a gun but the guy was okay"."the gun bullets soap shot were blanks and he showed them by shooting himself in the head but the pressure of the bullet entered his skull and he died of a headshot".
"Soap was a abusive mean and selfish mercenary who wouldn't let his daughter have a date well so much idea because now you're daughter can see anyone she likes".
163-rob o slush:
"The great desparado was a failure magician he'd been looking for that one trick that would surprise his audience show them that he had what it takes but just as he was leaving two robbers named tj and Vince had come looking for drug and found something they thought was cocaine and snoorked it up their noses"."but the cocaine turned out to be slush powder commonly used in water tricks for magicians and the two morons died of suffocation from the slush blocking their lungs and noses".
"The great desparado was looking for that one killer trick eventually he did and it sent two drug addicts straight to hell".
164-rocket n flamed:
"Rotor was a rocket engineer who loved fixing rockets for the north reach space seekers sounds like a nerd group don't it but actually it was more than that and on this faithful day rotor was fired for tampering too much with the rockets too much". "So rotor decided to get some revenge he unplugged the fuelling tank he got some on him and didn't care much but he shouldn't had been that careless because an accident caused a exhaust to speed up and as rotor went pass the rocket the rocket exhaust caught him and he was in flames in seconds he died".
"Rotor was a rocket expert who loved his job but now resides in a more less living area all because of a flame".
"Sly was a pervert who had asked a bartender to slip something into the fiancee's glass which would cause her to start getting the runs or really needing a shit and the bartender agreed but when it came to the toast or speech". "Everyone drank their drinks when sly felt something in his rectum and ran to the loo because the bartender had a change of heart and instead of the bride it was pervert who needed to shit". "He tried a toilet room but the toilet rooms were occupied by people having sex and so he decided to shit in a trashcan but struggled to get out and fell in this caused the trash to tumble over and sent the pervert down the hill breaking all his bones and he died before he hit the woods".
"Sly was pervert who wanted revenge on the fiancee the bartender changed this and sly got shit trashed".
"Kirby was a driving instructor who regularly checked on his students skills but this instructor ain't nice he was criticized who cared less about his students and more on his money"."one day one of his students was being taught when he started criticizing so she got out the car and went to get his manager, Kirby shouted for her to get back in the car while repeatedly hitting the steering wheel causing an airbag to explode and break kirby's neck and he died".
"Kirby was a instructor who lived as an ass and died as a dumbass".
"Evile was a very angry guy indeed he was always mean to his fellow workers and he always got when he was in traffic, not being able to open a coke bottle cap and hurting himself with the machinery". "This outburst caused him to get fired and evile sought revenge and so he attempted to murder his boss by pushing him into a acid tank which would burn his skin but the boss in self defence pushed evile into the acid and evile frantically started screaming and shouting for help but it was too late the acid had burned his skin, dissolved all his bones and completely destroyed all his organs in minutes he was dead".
"Evile had a life threatening anger issue which caused outbursts which caused him to get fired and this eventually caused his plan and then his death".
Credits-same as show
"Hi guys welcome to season 3 and i'll be counting on from 167".
"So please enjoy".
episode 25 - death needs moreEdit
"Whats crazy what's insane and what's full of blood and Gore a 1000 ways to die of course"."a pair of female survivors kill themselves"."a french dude takes a tumble"."a bug hater gets sticky and then bug food"."a textaholic gets the point"."a threesome of girls go final destination". "A purse stealer meets his screwing end and a illegal shop owner gets fried by fireworks".
Death is everywhere most of the us try to avoid it others can't get out of its way Everyday we fight a new war against germs toxins injury illness and catastrophe". "There's a lot of ways to wind up dead the fact that we survive at all is a miracle because everyday we live we face a 1000 ways to die".
168-survive and die:
"Payback and Scarlett were survivors who had been through a lot of wars in their time and have been in many death situations that it was surprising to hear that they survived at all especially considering once they had their cores removed how bazaar was it that these two lucky girls actually survived without a scratch"."well one day payback was scavenging for some food because she and Scarlett had rumbly tummies so she went to look for some food to satisfy their bellies when she slipped and fell landing on a twig trap and impales herself a few minutes later Scarlett came to see where payback went and as well as payback Scarlett too fell on a twig trap".
"payback and Scarlett were survivors who thought they'd never die but in the end all beliefs can cause you death right payback and Scarlett?".
169-I fall downa:
"Pepe was a French dude whos only goal in life was to have a girlfriend to be with his failed attempts at seducing females and his constant chasing have had him in French prison many times but the lovestruck peep never stopped". "One day he decides at the top of the Eiffel tower and asks if he can be her man she says no, pepe obviously angry at this calls her something that rhythms with switch and the woman in anger pushes pepe". "Pepe's push was very strong because he kept going until he fell over the railing of the Eiffel tower and fell to his death".
"Pepe was an a French dude who just wanted a special someone but they refused this angered pepe and he then fell from the Eiffel tower".
"Featherweight hated bugs all sorts of them ants, cockroaches, spiders, beetles and pretty much any bugs in the world he hated he'd tortured them by stepping on them and any other torture device for the bugs"."One day featherweight decided to order a sticky wall paper called fly sap anything that goes near sticks to it unfortunately for featherweight a mosquito had gotten into his house and featherweight started swatting it with his baton but slipped on a paint pot and was trapped by the sap". "So the bugs decided to get a little revenge for his torturing by eating the man alive and in the end he died of bug infestation attack".
"Featherweight was a bug hater who hated all bugs but when the mosquito came to him the bug God took care of featherweight by killing him".
"Hershey was a textaholic who couldn't stop texting on her phone and she was getting bad headaches from it so she decides to see a doctor who puts needles all over her body eventually the doc leaves and hershey gets ready to rest but then hears a voooom noise from her phone". " she reaches out to grab it but falls off the bed and the needles go into her body and one hit her heart killing her".
"Hershey was a texter who couldn't too bad she didn't get the point and so neither does her heart".
"Sonia, lara su and melody were a threesome of young teens who liked having fun by going to the spa, playing chubby bunny, and finally telling funny jokes about her now deceased brother manik and how annoying he was when he was alive". "But they shouldn't had done that because God had Satan to kill them and so satan here's how the girls die?"they were walking along a path round the park but fate be told a out of control segway hits sonia causing her body to hit the ground as the segway ran over her face, a radio controlled plane hits melody in the face slicing and dicing her face, and lara gets killed by a frizbee because of the speed it was at and it decapitated her head clean off".
"Sonia, lara su and melody never cared that the boys died because in the end they all ended up in hell".
"Flint Lockwood was the towns vandal who had stolen many purses in his time and he was never caught ever how surprising to know this dude never got spotted by anyone well one day he spots a ex stripper walking down the street and steals her purse using his screwdriver as a weapon"."unfortunately the purse was spotted by a man in a tuxedo and tie who'd seen it all and chases after flint on his bike but as faith be told he hit a rock flung from the bike and impaled himself with his screwdriver piercing his heart".
"Flint was a vandal who cared about noone just their purses and that's all too bad this thief got the point".
"What do we have here a stall stand full of people look that guy has a load of fireworks, pirated dvds and stuff wait a minute that's illegal meet demo today was the day he wanted a way to sell all his illegal stuff to get money soon enough though he received from a buddy that the fbi were arriving". "As told they did demo needed somewhere to hide but where hmm haw i know the van the illegal owner got inside the van as the fbi searched for him because demo knew it was going to be a long time he got out a cigarette bjt as demo put down his cigarette it lit a firework and in seconds he was toasted".
"Demo was a illegal dick who cared nothing about laws and risks and so they didn't care if he died".
Credits-same as show
episode 26- death needs a tow truckEdit
"Rip Ahhhhhhh hey deathies and moronic morons welcome to another episode of 1000 ways to die today a tow truck scam artist gets towed"."a piano player gets choked by a mic"."a waitress gets stabbed in the boob"."a songwriter gets killed by his own bed"."a streetwise woman and pervert abuser get headshot by a hitman"." A hunter gets hunted and a sign spinner slices his neck".
Death is everywhere most of us try to avoid it others can't get out of its way Everyday we live we fight a new war against germs toxins injury illness and catastrophe there's a lot of ways to wind up dead the fact that we survive at all is a miracle because everyday we live we face a 1000 ways to die".
"Crash was a tow truck driver who was also a scam artist he'd toe people's cars and request huge payment for his problems of their cars". "Crash's method was the same tow car, get money repeat this guy was a dick but eventually a car came to him and he accidentally put the tow hook in a front hydraulic causing the hook to detach and fly straight into his skull killing him".
"Crash towed the wrong cars and took great payment but when a hook hits the back of your skull bye".
"Chief was the only option for a lucky man and his wife who were getting married in the cathedral of the church then it came to entertainment and chief was no different he walked into the stage and played his piano but he had many drinks and soon began to mess around by dancing, and calling the bride a slut"."the groom obviously angry at this goes to give the pianist a knockout but is held back by his best man but the man pushes the best man into the keyboard table and the microphone chief was singing with lodged into his trachea and chief died by choking on the Mic".
"Chief was an ass who liked to ruin weddings but the time came where the world was like fuck you ah well who wants cake".
"Rose and minnie were a pair of waitresses for the company for meatfest for bros and were the only waitresses and employees in the company not to mention by this Segment one of them will probably die anyway rose and minnie were waiting to see who will get to feed the jocks of Maxwell high school for dudes and soon got into a fight eventually rose had the upper hand smacking Minnie across the spaghetti bowls but just as she was about do the finishing move". "Rose got ready to jump and she did and landed on a reception holder and was impaled through the boob mixing the blood with silicone and she died".
"Rose and Minnie wanted to be the jock's table waitress but the fight began and rose got siliconed".
"What do have here a songwriter making new tracks on his new laptop yep meet sample he was the rocker who created tracks by using beats and dubstep mixed with country and classical music to make the most epic soundtracks however he suddenly heard the landlord and hid in wall bed". "Unfortunately the bed was suffocating him to glass which stopped his lungs and he was dead".
"Sample was a rocker dubstep genius who created brilliant music soundtracks unfortunately for him he got bed o cated".
179-couple banged :
"Wow check out these guys meet Alexis and Cole one was whorey bitchy streetwise woman who dropped the street for a natural life the other was a psychotic dick womanizer who disrespect whorey women together they were a match made in hell". "Cole decided to call a hitman to kill Alexis and the guy she's with but Cole was no different on Wednesdays he had vb lovesbin, on Thursdays it was rolexis and on friday it was richly viper tonight he decided to go farther and invited another stripper but it turned out to be Alexis and they started which ended when a hitman shot them in the head killing them".
"Cole and Alexis were a match made in hell swearing, insulting and shouting eventually lead to their deaths".
180-😈 hunt for the hunter:
"Elmer fudd was a hunter who loved hunting rabbits, ducks, foxes, badgers and pretty much any animal he could get his hands on today was no different but you guys expect that Elmer die well sadly he doesn't(segment ends with no shot hunter but then resumes segment) I'm just kidding he does but how?
"The stick trap:"Elmer falls in and he's impaled but that's not what killed him".
Bear trap:"Elmer trips over and lands headfirst on a bear trap destroying his brain and skull but that's not what killed him".
"Hmm what killed him well Elmer was looking for some water to Drunk some of the water but suddenly gets shot and lands on the ground dead what killed him? Another hunter of course who mistaked him for an animal and shot his gun at him and Elmer was dead".
"Elmer had a killing mind he murdered animals for sport and then assassinated himself by being shot".
"Bart was a sign spinner who worked for xtra get skillz to entertain and bring customers into his store another affection bart had was a hot girl named Miranda who he was deeply in love with and proceeded to show of his skillz to her and she was impressed but just out of no way a new sign spinner named milhouse steps out and he challenges bart to a sign spinner contest". "But as bart does his routine his sign keeps hitting the ground and eventually bart slices his neck gooey blood starts spraying out and bart is dead".
"Bart was a sign spinner who wanted to fulfil his crush with impressivemess sadly this guy never lived to say".
Credits-same as show
episode 27-death gives adviceEdit
"Voooooom bang woah that was a wipe out and ahhh hi from hanging to falling we count seven of today's deaths". "We have a drunk dad who gets launched"."a electrician who gets electrocuted"."a moron who gets who gets stabbed by a plane"."a game show contestant gets mud a cated"."a cheerleader gets stampled"."a junkyard dude gets crushed and a robber gets meat hooked".
"Death is everywhere most of us try to avoid it others can't get out of its way Everyday we fight a new war against germs toxins injury illness and catastrophe there's a lot of ways to wind up dead the fact that we survive at all is a miracle because everyday we live we face a 1000 ways to die".
182-seat launched out:
"Tod was a husband and father but didn't give a shit about his wife and kids he hated every single one of them he missed his daughter's play but didn't tod care he'd would rather mess with copper than be at home with vixey and the kids". "Tod and copper would drink, fuck around and mess with stuff like couches and lamps, eventually they came across a flight chair but Tod without thinking pulled a seat ejector and was launched into the roof cracking his skull".
"Tod cared nothing about his family he'd rather mess with copper well Tod sadly you die you bastard".
183-electrician o cuted:
"Copper was an electrician who looked after his house's electrical supplies such as his fridge,oven,lights and a bunch of other things today though he was going for a job to be a professional electrician for the company but as he was helping someone in their house at one point he fell through a hole into bath which electrocuted him how did he get electrocuted? A lonely lamp had fallen off a stand into the bath eletrocuting the water". "So when copper fell in a bunch of zaps went through his body and shut down everything".
"Copper was a electrician who did his own housework but when it comes down to the real job just say no or you might end up on a shocking fall".
"Aron was a nonscience when you know one he'd fly his toy rc glider around on a very windy day and terrorise the neighbours by driving his plane into them promoting them to duck under the railings every time he'd fly it at him"."but the gods decided that aron needed to die so they hid his rc and then drove it straight into his stomach damaging the tissue, slicing his organs and penetrating his heart it was a triple wamy".
"Aron was a rc glider pilot who terrorised his neighbours by flying his plane at them and promoting them to duck but the gods had a different ending for aron you die son".
"Hmmm I wonder what's on tv hey a nature show but no ohh a infomercial nope hey a game show that's more like it". "This year's contestants in Japan were yuna and Cosmo and they were getting ready to jump into a pool of water, go through colourful rings, and come back out so they jumped in and went through the rings but what's this". "Yuna's drowning wonder why? Well a tanker was being filled with oil and when yunas tank was being filled up a bunch of mud got in it and so when yuna started swimming she started losing breath and eventually drowned to death".
"So wait a contestant actually dies on this game show ahh whatever it's time for my nap (narrator snores)".
"Lemon hearts was a cheerleader in the town of England Northampton where she showed off her cheerleading skills by being a bitch saying to her fellow cheerleader they are fat because lemon hearts believe it or not was the captain for the team and was being competed against when a new girl came along and stole her captainship". "And her boyfriend and so at the big game she pushed the other cheerleaders, the new girl fell and lemon insulted but was knocked down by big jocks and stepped on breaking her ribs, cracking her skulls and she was dead".
"Well you know what they say sometimes cheerleader always a dead one".
"Martin was a junkyard who'd take vehicles from worthy customers like thieves and sell them out by taking their cars, trucks and stuff they give him, make them pay in high prices like 50 dollars and take their engines but fate be told when he started he forgot two things one the engine was made the uk, the chain holding it up made in China". "The chain snapped and the engine landed on Martins chest and Martin died of suffocation".
Martin was a junkyard douche who took engines but when fate came his way he was crushed by an engine".
188-meat your time death:
"Two totally non related thieves called Heinz and Salem were planning on stealing from a meat truck so Heinz got in the back ready to pick up some steaks but just as he's about to escape the doors are closed and Heinz is locked in". "Salem comes out at this point and holds the driver at gunpoint and threatens to shoot him if he does not cooperate so the driver lets have the truck, the police soon start chasing him and Salem swerves around during this Heinz is tossed around in the back of the truck eventually Heinz lands his neck on a meat hook and is impaled through the throat with the officer and Salem looking horrified".
"Heinz was a meat freak who needed some chops so he decided to steal some but all that gave him was a meat hook impaled neck".
Credits-same as show
episode 28 - death has a retarded brother Edit
"Wow these guys and gals look horrifyingly dead"."a hipster tries to steal but blows his eye"."a rollercoaster fanatic ends his life"."a hair chewer gets chewed out"."a betrayer takes a bad step"."a diver gets a head on collision with a floating machine"."a joker gets a face full of Turkey and a mother in law gets smothered".
Death is everywhere most of us try to avoid it others can't get out of its way Everyday we fight a new war against germs toxins injury illness and catastrophe there's a lot of ways to wind up dead the fact that we survive at all is a miracle because everyday we live we face a 1000 ways to die".
189-ring gunned hipster:
"Oh wow a garage sale wonder what's there oh look there's a guy coming to down buy stuff not exactly the guy's name was wulpp and he was here to steal and run so he'd wake up early ever morning and steal something without anyone seeing the item he stole". "One day he went to a new sale 2 hours early then expected so the guy who lived there gave him a decision straight away, wulpp asked if he had any porn the man didn't so he found a ring and decided to steal it but it probably wasn't good idea to put it on his finger"."wulpp and the man got into a fight which ended with a bullet going through his eye and mashing his brain"."and wulpp was dead". Ps. The ring was a ring gun that killed him".
"Wulpp was a hipster who liked a good bargain but when he tried to steal a ring he got what was coming straight in the eye bye you moron".
"Tyrone was a ride fanatic who out of all the rides that were his favourite his favourite was the roller coaster in every park he'd go on every single roller coaster 3 or 4 times just to feel the air in his face as he goes upside on a loop de loop or sideways on a corkscrew he loved them all he has been on the G force, the smiler(before it shut down after an accident),and many others"."One day though he was going on the roller coaster ride tatsu when the ride malfunctioned on a loop de loop suddenly Tyrone's restraints malfunctioned and Tyrone fell tumbling to the track which broke his back but he was still alive but then the ride started working again and he was run over by the coaster breaking all bones in his body".
"Tyrone was a rider who loved coasters but even fanatics get their deaths on this show right?".
"Arlene was a hair chewer who loved stripping(which she stopped), painting and chewing on her hair which eventually caused her to start vomiting why? Undigested hair clogged her intestines and food was stuck she continued chewing her hair which caused her to die from a hairball found in her stomach and it was confirmed death was hairy".
"Arlene had a hair eating disorder but all hair eaters eat food not hair you dumbasses".
192-betray n step:
"Lance was a traitor to his country and was the main target for the uk and for Bill rizer who had heard that lance had joined the Russians and Germans for 2 reasons 1:he was sick of being Bill's sidekick on his team and 2:he preferred the Russians and Germans to the English numbskulls so there also Bill killed his parents who were terrorists"."Lance was minding his business when he spotted Bill he ran away from Bill but was cornered near the stairs as Bill in revenge kicked lance down the stairs, lance fell cracking his head, destroying his spinal cord and died of blood loss". "Serves you right you bastard".
"Lance was a traitor to his country who made himself at home in the Nazis and Russian forces but when Bill showed up lance ran lance fell then lance died so long sucker".
"Austin was a diving olympian who performed many stunts off the diving board but after a bunch of drug tests he was stuck being a lifeguard manager at a pool coast of las Vegas he was a dick to his employees but at least it's not all bad, one thing that was good about Austin's job was that he got to hit on the single moms that he met". "One night he was on a date with one of his new chicks in the pool and decided to show her some old tricks he did many tricks off the diving into the water eventually the woman asked if she could get out because it was cold, Austin replied with one more jump okay but he should've listened because he hit the water and never came back up when Austin jumped he dived straight into a diving floater that cleans up the water Austin headbutted it and in seconds he was unconscious and then started drowning and he was dead in minutes".
"Austin had a prize for himself like all things he was a jackass who lost his dream of being an olympian champion, ended up on a pool as a manager, and then got floaty punch right in the kisser".
194-Turkey joked up:
"Jojo was a joker who had done a barbeque as a prank for his successful cousin caspar who had earned his degree at college of dysfunctional adults anyway jojo popped a turkey into a frier but the frier backfired and shot the turkey right into jojo's face causing massive bleeding and second degree burns on his skin which fried him and he was dead in seconds".
"Jojo thought it'd be funny to throw his cousin a prank party but when the turkey came along it fried and then it fried jojo's face".
195-mother in crushed:
"Dilys was a mother in law to mandy who had married her son Norman(who is now deceased) but pushes her to her limits by screaming at her about food preferences and puts cheese all over the meals she was cooking, mandy fights back saying calm down you crazy bitch earning a slap for that from dylis eventually mandy gives up and leaves Dilys to do her own dirty work". "Dylis goes to get a pizza from the fridge but it is stuck she pulls and refrigerator comes tumbling down on her breaking her ribs and Dilys was dead".
"Dilys was mother in law who hated mandy's preferences she gave mandy a slap and then got refrigerator crushed".
Episode 29-death does a meltdownEdit
"Arghhhhh Ahhhhhhh hi deathies and welcome to another episode of a 1000 ways to die we have a idiotic souvenir tourist who eats a ghost chilli and gulps it down with snake venom"."a gymnast who impales her anus"."a wash wash scammer who gets the eye point"."a construction worker gets buried"."a detective who gets detect dead"."a cleaner takes a new mouthful of acid"."and a busboy gets face fried".
"Death is everywhere most of us try to avoid it others can't get out of its way Everyday we live we fight a new war against germs toxins injury illness and catastrophe there's a lot of ways to wind up dead the fact that we survive at all is a miracle because everyday we live we face a 1000 ways to die".
196-have a ghost chilli, gulp some venom:
"Harchi and popy were on a business trip to the Savannah when they came across shop owner drumweiner who had many merchandise but it cost them a lot of cash (£300 for a globe, £900 for a medicine mask and £1200 for a totem poles) eventually harchi comes across a bowl full of peppers and eats one (popy turns round and says he won a pepper eating contest back home at one point) but harchi didn't realize it but the peppers that he ate were ghost chilli pepper a lot hotter than Tabasco sauce". "Harchi was yelping with pain his mouth was like a pizza oven he went to the fridge to find something to wash it down but ends up gulping down a glass of snake venom for a university and he falls to the ground spitting out venom and ghost peppers out of his mouth and harchi is killed by the sores in his mouth allowing venom to enter".
"Harchi and popy were hoping to get some souvenirs but the only thing that happened was just another look, eat, scream, gulp, spit, die!". "Goodbye harchi you jackass".
197- bad friend, get the anus point:
" misty fly was a gymnast who wanted to join the Olympics but that dream never came true and she was stuck trampoling with her old bbf fleetfoot who had had enough of Misty fly's bitchiness towards her and became tired of her pissing her off by telling her do it right next time or you look fat try losing weight dumbo". "a maintenance worker was fixing a pole when misty fly told him to stop, the maintenance worker told her he had to fix it but misty fly shooed him away from them". "Fleetfoot showed off her trampoling skills and misty fly in another bitchy mood turned round and said why don't you try this time and bounced, did a backflip and impaled her rectum through a pole which a maintenance worker was fixing and she died of a ruptured pelvis and blood loss".
"Misty fly was a gymnast who wanted to join the Olympics but the ways she choose to try and join were mean no wonder she ended up killing herself".
198-i'll wash wash a dollar ,then poke your eye:
"Surly was a wash wash scammer who used fake cash in a bargain scam to steal from a dude who was quite dumb to believe that he had been robbed anyway earlier that day the dude's name was revealed as filthy rich who didn't know he was about to be robbed surly sprayed the magic water over the money to fool him into thinking it was real, the man took the case of fake play cash and went down to the elevator but discovered that he had been robbed and went straight to the guy who had stolen from him". "Surly who was freaked out so he panicked and hid behind a door, looked through the eye hole and saw filthy rich shouting suddenly the door swung open and the door coat hanger went straight through his eye pulling it out causing massive eye blood loss and he was dead by seconds".
"Surly tried to outsmart a dumb dude by using fake cash but when the dumb dude turned smart, surly shortly after took the hook straight through the eye".
"A drunken worker by the name of Grayson was driving his dump truck to a hole in a construction site which he had to bury with dirt meanwhile a more non alcoholic worker named Sherman was digging a hole in the ground but Grayson not seeing him dumped the dirt on top of Sherman and in minutes Sherman suffocated to death".
"Grayson was a dumbass who came to work drunk, Sherman was a non alcoholic who ended up buried alive thanks a lot Grayson you drunk".
"milhouse was a cold blooded detective with a vicious heart of hatred and distrust who had found all the bad guys and had settled down to relax when the telephone rang, milhouse picked up the phone it was the fbi they wanted him to get a new bad dude and his bitch in prison"."milhouse went to the sawmill as the fbi said they were there he looked for them and eventually he found them having sex on a wooden table, milhouse went to arrest them but a force of something pulled him towards it it was a saw buzzard drill and he was heading straight to it and crashed into the blades and in minutes he was sawed in half causing massive amounts of bleeding". "He had lied his arm down too close to the buzzards causing his the saw to pull leather from the jacket came with it and so when he went to arrest the troublemakers he was pulled in blood spewing everywhere".
"Milhouse was a dick detective with no heart so when the fbi phoned up and asked him to help them, he knew it may be his final destination".
201- drank a lot of acid mouth wash:
"Smee is the janitor of big show low high school after getting fired by hook he does the cleaning up for the school but besides that he is still cheerful about everyone and everything for his eyes, he loved working there he cleaned the toilets, talked with the female staff, and even mopped the floor". "One student however was on the run after messing with a gang smee narrowly avoid the student but the gang were behind him and bumped into smee causing his face to fall into some acid water made from various chemicals which he swallowed accidentally which fried his organs and he reserved minor burns which entered into his brain frying it and killing him in the process".
"Smee was a janitor who loved his job cleaning the toilets, getting horny with the female staff and mopping the floor but when a traitorous student ran through and the gang came past, smee knew death was coming and so ends another acidie day".
202-bus boy get out or get fried:
"Marcos was the busboy at the famous restaurant los Mir Seiko where he cleaned floors and watched heroman do the dicing and his throwing the knives in the air and catching trick, one night Marcos decides to break in, steal the knives and toss them he was doing fine until he does a toss in the air where it cuts a support rope and a Buddha head falls on top of marcos pushing him onto the frier where it burned his face and sizzled his organs killing him".
"Marcos was a busboy who had the dream of a head chief too bad his dreams got fried".
Credits-same as show
episode 30-death loves eerie musicEdit
"Death happens to everyone to you to me and to these losers"."we have a Christmas hater who gets dangled"."a business person who gets sliced in half"."a town tease gets pebbled by rocks"."a bird hater gets tabled"."a cat hater gets drowned in milk"."cliffjumper gets gushed out"."and a baseball player goes sore all this and more on the next episode of 1000 ways to die"
"Death is everywhere most of try to avoid it others can't get out of its way Everyday we fight a new war against germs toxins injury illness and catastrophe there's a lot of ways to wind up dead the fact that we survive at all is a miracle because everyday we live we face a 1000 ways to die".
"Smithers was a annoyance to his neighbours putting up Christmas decorations besides the ironically he hated Christmas because of the carols, the decorations and the stupid tree he even hated it when he was two kill this guy satan please"." His wife had said that if he doesn't stop with the decorations she was gonna leave but smithers never stopped so one day she left leaving smithers alone but smithers didn't care he had set up a speaker but when he turned it on he got startled falling backwards down the roof and getting his foot caught in the Christmas lights noone heard his cries for help because of the music so smithers tried to get himself by pushing against the wall". "But smithers ends up hitting his head on the wall cracking it killing himself".
"Smithers was a humbug who hated Christmas he put up decorations to annoy his neighbour but then he lost his wife and then his life".
"Gaylord was a grouchy business man with a temper for if things didn't go his way he'd take them cutting into line for his own enjoyment and pleasure because if not he'd burst with rage anyway he was late for a airport lift off and he not wanting to waste anymore time took a cab from a nearby passenger and put his bags in the boot the Stauffer told him to wait for the next one but Gaylord couldn't and he also didn't notice a tow truck rope was stuck in the boot until (slice) he saw the slice he had closed the boot when a tow truck rope get stuck as the truck tried to move it pressed against Gaylord severing his upper body from his lower body". "And this what killed him".
"Gaylord was a rager who took on life by being a asshole he stole a cab, shouted at a Stauffer and finally got tow fucked".
205-pebble n rocked out:
"Lola was the town tease who seduced a redneck and his cowboy brother when it came to taking her home with them they got into a fight with the redneck holding a shotgun and the cowboy a knife but before they could start shooting or stabbing lola stepped in and stopped the fight against the brothers and suggested a truck rope the winner takes her home the loser noone"."but lola undoubtedly forgot one thing stand clear of the wreckage and so she was pelted with rocks and stones and pebbles until one rock hit her temple cracking it and making it bleed and she bleed to death".
"Lola was the town tease in the wild world but when it came between two western fighting she stepped in and suggested a game, a game was ended up being her last get rocked bitch".
206-glass of table pain courtesy of cockatiel:
"The kasoki family were out on a family holiday and phoned the victim blaze to come and look after their bird she arrived no time soon one thing to know about was that she hated birds all kinds budgies, pigeons, seagulls,and especially cockatiels she'd rather die then look after some stupid parrot". "The kasoki family left leaving blaze with the bird she decided to phone her new boyfriend big over but the bird keeps pestering them while their having sex and big decides to leave, leaving blaze in huff of annoyance at the bird and decides to feed him a cracker to shut him up but the cockatiel escapes onto the roof". "Blaze climbs the balcony but eventually gets startled by the bird causing her to fall and smash through a glass table embedding shards into her skins killing her".
"Blaze had no respect for birds she hated every single one of them but when the crackers came and the bird flew away blaze had too much on her mind and then she smashed it".
"Look at this a boyfriend and a girlfriend about to go on a date how romantic well actually no you see they were boyfriend and girlfriend but they weren't going on a date meet finn he was going to look after cake for fionna but once the doors were locked finn told cake he had an allergy and to stay away but cake didn't catch the message"."finn hated cats for 2 reasons 1:they make him sneeze and 2:because their meows are annoying, anyway finn was minding his business when cake came up finn started sneezing and attempted to kick cake but tripped ,whacked his head on the bricks and fell face first into a bowl of milk and finn drowned to death from the milk and fractured skull".
"Finn was a kitty hater who hated cats but when fate in the form of milk came in finn went out and drowned in the milky way".
208-cliff gushed up:
"A group of college kids were heading to mount Vernon cliffside to do some jumping and diving they knew that it could be dangerous jumping into the water butt first but that's exactly what happens to this guy his name was mordecai and he was ready to dive"."mordecai jumped in and died how? the force from his fall caused lots of water to go up his rectum and cause his body to fill with water which caused cardiac arrest and he also drowned".
"Mount Vernon was the coolest mountain cliffside in the town but when it came to mordecai it went for coolest to deadliest place ever".
209-a saw a dying baseball player, here tell death:
"A incident on November 12 2001 occurred to an unfortunate baseball player meet Hamilton he was a baseball player who had a serious case with a poor intestine he kept pushing it in all the time but it would always pop back out"." Eventually he played a game of base ball when it occurred again he pushed it in and went back out but as he swung his bat his body hit the ground and he was dead cause of death? He kept pushing his intestine eventually it got bruised so much that it ruptured and he died of eternal bleeding/exangustination".
"Hamilton was a baseball player with a thing for balls but when his bat hit the ball he got intestined".
Credits-same as show
Episode 31-death loves the living deadEdit
"Death makes great blood for tv, books, and games even movies watch as we count down 7 ways to die in this new episode of 1000 ways to die"."a grasshopper eater gets throat blocked"."a pervert gets the pole right through the shoulder"."a movie star gets katanaed"."a toxic woman gets toxic wasted"."a biker swallows a cue ball"."a hot loser gets trophyed"."and a woman gets motor killed".
"Death is everywhere most of us try to avoid it others can't get out of its way Everyday we fight a new war against germs toxins injury illness and catastrophe there's a lot of ways to wind up dead the fact that we survive at all is a miracle because everyday we live we face a 1000 ways to die".
210 - grasshoppered choking:
"Guntiver and lobo were a pair of marijuana smugglers who were planning on opening a shop for drug dealers and teens who wanted to get high but they smoked their stash eventually they got hungry but there wasn't any munchies so guntiver looked and saw some grasshoppers and decided to cook them". "Lobo asked what are they guntiver replied with grasshoppers and started but he started choking and he was dead he didnt know that he was allergic to grasshopper blood so when he ate them it swelled up his throat and he was dead in minutes".
"Once upon two marijuana smugglers decided to start a business one day they got hungry and sadly for guntiver he got grasshoppered".
"Dizzy was a pervert who liked to snap woman's crouches one day he decides to snap another woman's crouch but a bouncer and a construction worker go over to beat him up but the pole beat them to it (splat), another construction worker had tripped on a sand bag throwing the pole like a javelin straight into the pervert shoulder which travelled to his heart impaling his heart killing him instantaneously".
"A town of normal people had lived before for a town with perverts like dizzy no wonder he got pervert paled".
212-movie act katanaed:
"The film business was a big thing in reality all actors would perform many stunts, tricks, and get precious props for scenes like fist fights or flying on contraire there is one person you don't want to be meet sanjay he was a movie actor who was addict to drugs, abused women and was a dick to everyone eventually a Hollywood killer called deus ex decided to take things into his own hands and set out to assassinate sanjay ". "The hitman hid in the pool and proceeded to the target but sanjay thinking decided to snort some cocaine and take on the big lug circling him but suddenly the katana he had picked up on the way impaled him through the stomach destroying his heart and lungs".
"Movie actors from everywhere learn this that it's okay to use botox but abusing women ,doing drugs, and being a dick to everyone leads to one thing? Death".
"A toxic company by the name of kill mother nature of plants were a horrid group of people who dumped toxic waste all over society and nature reserves killing plants and many animals one of these bad people was lien da she was planning on dumping the stuff in the early night to kill trees". "She forced her boyfriend to do it for her and she was a bitch to him eventually he left her to do her own work but lien da tripped on a discarded bin and the toxic chemicals went in through her mouth completely annihilating organs to nothing and she was dead no explanations".
"Lien da had no respect for mother nature so in return mother nature cared nothing about lien da's death happy prays bitch".
214-cue balled out:
"A bar of nitwits come before us tonight meet bark one of the most notorious bikers in all of the land besides scourge(but he's deceased) he had a very impressive trick where he would slide pool balls down his throat and push them back up with his Adam's apple". "He decides to use a cue ball which is the dumbest thing he could do it went in his throat but the biker couldn't push it back up and he asphyxiated/suffocation due to it blocking his trachea/windpipe".
"Bark had a talent like no other bars are full of nitwits so when bark slid a cue ball down his throat you knew he was going to die right bark?".
215-trophy in the head:
"Nermal was a hottie who won many cuteness shows in the town he was also the hottest in his senior college scoring many faints from women and wooing many colleagues like Arlene(who is now deceased) he was on his way to a cuteness show and the prize was a giant trophy for any who win". "Nermal showed off his skills he won the contest but as he went to receive his prize he tripped, bumped into the stand holding the trophy up, knocked himself unconscious and finally the trophy landed on his head yep (splat) when normal tripped it sent his forehead into the stand and I knocked him unconscious when the trophy it landed on his face and popped eye sockets and completely squashed his face in minutes nermal was no more".
"Nermal was the hottest winner and wooer in college but when a 100 pound trophy lands on your head you're dead ,next!".
"A life star has her moments when she just wants to relax meet perci she was a biker who loved giving erecto sex to her boyfriend's motor because the vibration gave her a tingle like a sex toy would do if you put it to your vagina or penis it tickled her vagina and she forgot she was even on a motorbike anymore". "Bad turns to worse as she let go off her boyfriend's sides she fell hitting the ground breaking all her bones and puncturing her heart and she was dead (scourge's death was the same but his leg got caught on a tire and it scraped him across the road before letting go)".
"Perci was a erecto lover of motorbikes she'd get on them have sex on them and fall off them".
Credits-same as show
Episode 32- the Satan's death clockEdit
"Pedophiles, alcoholic users or moronic people beware because today it gets greasy". "A lover takes a wrong turn and winds up wasted". "A rapist gets sucker punched"."a group of dudes and a gal get killed in different ways"."a prankster goes over the top of a railing". "A furry takes on a real buzz and stings out"."a hallucinator gets lava lamped". "And a weaponry expert gets impaled".
"Death is everywhere most of us try to avoid it others can't get out of its way Everyday we live we fight a new war against germs toxins injury illness and catastrophe there's a lot of ways to wind up dead the fact that we survive at all is a miracle because everyday we live we face a 1000 ways to die".
217-loved wrong turned:
"Romeo is a lover who loved the ladies especially laila his girlfriend and the women for him, he'd woo her to the max by talking romantically, flirt or kiss her even sometimes show off to her because he loved her so much"." But one day Romeo was on his way to laila's house when a fire hydrant fell from the sky and smacked into his back breaking his spine and destroying his lungs and he died of asphyxiation and blood loss".
"Romeo was a Romeo who loved to seduce the women but when a fire hydrant fell from the sky the only thing Romeo had was death".
"Chhaninu was the town's local rapist who attacked unsuspected women and fuck them up before letting them leave tonight though the egotistical rapist was about to have a piece of his own medicine when a hot black chick came out the door (who was really just a male crossdresser and boxer) the rapist attacked the wrestler and got ready to fuck him but when the wrestler sucker punched him in the face". "The force of the wrestler's fist snapped his neck and ripped his veins killing him".
"A rapist and a boxer two completely different people but when they crossed paths the boxer got away and Chhaninu got fucked out".
219-four dudes all dead:
"Four dudes are in a group who hung out with many chicks/hotties with their friend romeo(who is deceased) they heard about his death but moved on with their lives but death had different endings for these guys".
1:"guru was in the park feeding the ducks and minding his own business when a robber steals his wallet and runs anyway guru chased after the thief until they reached a hole in the middle of the woods the thief jumped and guru fell in breaking his bones and puncturing his heart and killing him". "A Hunter had put down a trap to kill the warden so he could hunt but when guru came the hunter ran off and guru fell in the ground broke all his bones and eliminated his heart".
2:"hero english was strumming his guitar to sunthina who was casually tapping her paws to the strums when hero english decided to kiss her he got something else instead of a kiss (zap) a exposed wire on the ground wrapped his leg and when he moved it moved and he got electrocuted from toe to head in volts while sunthina watched in horror". "And hero english was dead
3:"interval was in a gym training his muscles in the gym on a treadmill, and punching bags his favourite though was the knee lifter and arm puller machine but one day interval pulled a little too hard on the lifter/puller machine and the wires snapped causing some bricks to fall and crush his face".
4:"mini was smoking in a alley way when she spotted a hottie in the hood but when she went to go ask him out she fell dead on the ground turns out that when mini saw the hottie she released her cigar and it went down her throat burning the windpipe and causing her to fall dead as soon as she walked".
"So there's four dumb dudes/gal who lives were ruined I'm gonna go out just hope I don't get my bones broke by a trap, get electrocuted by an exposed wire, crush my face by bricks from gym equipment or swallow a fag because for guru, hero english, interval and mini it killed them".
"Well check out what's on death tube a pair of pranksters by the names of Claudette and Maria who pranked each other to the max with whoopie cushions, cream pies and many pranks including house equipment Claudette had just been pranked by Maria and decides to prank her back by pushing her onto a chair and springing her in the air but Maria pushes Claudette into the chair causing Claudette to get shot over the upstairs and caused her to break her bones , puncture her heart and bleed out instantaneously and Claudette is dead".
"Maria and claudette were pranksters like no other using whoopie cushions cream pies and various other things but when it came to the bouncy chair Claudette had the bounce of her over the railing".
221-furry buzzed dead:
"Jeremy was a furry who had gotten fired from his job as a security guard for disobeying and not arriving to work on time any more since he was too scared of the animatronics there so he decided to leave life on the wild side he was a jerk now he liked to pull loads of pranks in his fox fursuit but one day one of his pranks backfired"." He was originally aimming at what he thought was a person but it turned out to be a bee hive the bees started stinging him everywhere and some even got into his fursuit and stung him on the side too and some went up his nose and into his mouth causing the organs and many things to shut down and before long the bees were done and Jeremy was deadremy".
"Jeremy was a jerk who lost his job he pulled pranks on his neighbours while dressed as a fox but when he pulled a bullseye on a beehive the bees stung the furry and now Jeremy is stung out".
222-lava lamped speed out:
"In the world of druggers there is always those who have hallucinations meet meathead he was a hallucinator who felt like he was going faster than the world so he put a lava lamp in the microwave what's a lava lamp you ask its a device that these balls called lava balls which float up and down in the water putting one of these things into a microwave would be a really stupid idea but meathead didn't have a brain". "The boiling of the microwave caused the lava lamp to explode sending shards of glass from lava lamp and microwave straight into meathead's skull killing him".
"Meathead was a hallucinator with a low iq he snorted some drugs wanted the world to speed up and then he got microwaved".
223-impalery the expert:
"Welcome to the weaponry store where the best come to target or to buy stuff meet felldoh he was the best weaponry expert in the world today he had come back for a debt the store owed him for swindling him out but the weaponry store owner wouldn't pay so felldoh threw his stick weapon at the weaponry shop owner but the shop owner ducked". "The stick weapon attack felldoh backfired the stick hit a wall ricoheting it straight through felldoh's stomach destroying major arteries and stabbing into his heart killing him as blood drip from his mouth and stomach".
"Felldoh used to be the best in the land but when the store wouldn't pay felldoh decided to play and now felldoh couldn't do anything anyway so long sucker".
Credits-same as show
Episode 33-deathy time for losersEdit
"Blood has began spurting as we count down seven of today's deaths"."a husband takes a tumble n gets cracked"."a joker gets hanged"."a showoff shows off too much"."a wedding crasher gets smashed"."a vitamin c gets too much"." A money pincer gets sacked by what else money and a swimmer gets jelly fished".
"Death is everywhere most of us try to avoid it others can't get out of its way Everyday we fight a new war against germs toxins injury illness and catastrophe there's a lot of ways to wind up dead the fact that we survive at all is a miracle because everyday we live we face a 1000 ways to die".
224- hus cracked:
"ahhh mount jazzer such a great height for a mountain oh look at that happy couple running up here well not exactly meet rouge and shadow they were getting divorced so they decided to take a run up jazzer mountain one last time before they split". " but shadow had a different idea ("instead of leaving her, he was going to kill her") his plan was he was going take a selfie and going backwards slowly while pushing her back until she fe!l and broke her bones". "shadow and rouge made to the top of the mountain and were near the cliffside , shadow decided to set his plan into action but as he pushed her towards the bottom She retaliated in self defence"." Shadow fell hitting the Rocky bottom where he snapped his bones And punctured his heart with his ribs his heart stopped And he died".
" shadow's plan had been a failure and in the end he left rouge just not in the way he planned ".
225- joker hang in there:
"Life in a big street can be tough you can get mugged, robbed, or even killed but worst of all you could into a jackass who likes pulling pranks on you meet janja he is the town's top joker and loves pranks his big pranks include putting a rubber spider on his girlfriend's bed and pulling a string to make it look like its moving or placing a whoopie cushion on his buddies chairs"." Tonight it was Halloween and he decided to prank trick or treaters by hanging himself by a noose(pretend of course) then waking up screaming at them causing them to run away, his trick or treat did work a couple of times but then the noose got fiddly and he tied the noose around his neck tighter and was ready to get back to pranking trick or treaters when suddenly he stepped on a skateboard falling backwards the rope around his neck tightened and he choked to death by hanging ".
"Janja loved playing pranks on others but one faithful Halloween night his prank turned into a death and he got hanged by a noose but thats what he wanted to do isnt it".
"Flik was a showoff he loved doing dangerous stunts like jumping from a bridge onto a speeding train car or riding a great white shark and only getting minor injuries from the shark today flik was ready to perform a really dangerous, he was going to jump through a ring of fire on a motorcycle Naked (sounds like a pretty dumb idea I know)". " flik was on the seat of his motorcycle on ramp getting ready to perform when he accidentally slipped from his seat, the ride started dragging him by his legs through the fire". "He didn't survive and later died sources of why were the ramp scraped his skin clean off, he got fourth degree burns from the fire and he broke his ribs and spine as he landed".
" flik was a showoff who loved doing dangerous stunts but one day his luck changed and He became just another dead body".
"Nicole was getting married to Richard an obese man with a lot of cash who doesn't even have to work for it before the wedding though she met a hotter more stronger man who twice the amount than richard his name is Delgado a police officer in charge of a big police force which stand outside as we speak, so Nicole has chosen two men to marry but will she marry?
Richard:" because he had a lot of cash and was a good mind who loved Nicole for who she was or".
Delgado:"because he had twice the cash and the looks but only cared mostly about himself and less on Nicole"
"The answer was settled she chose Richard because he loved her more than ever despite how she looked and how she was, this enraged Delgado who while the wedding was being prepared stormed from his seat and stripped naked showing his muscles and power he also called Richard a fat bastard with no life, this outrage ended up with him being chased by the congregation and jumping through what he thought was a door but as he jumped through the glass smashed sending shards of glass into multiple parts of his body and he died of loss of blood".
" Nicole chose two men fat and strong but in the end the choice was made and Delgado got window pained have a happy life in hell".
"Braeburn was a farm worker who loved keeping himself healthy and doing the farmwork do you guys wanna know how braeburn kept healthy he drank carrot juice which had the right vitamins to keep him going but another thing you guys need to know about braeburn is he was addicted to vitamin c products which means he asked for drink after drink of carrot juice and swallowed lots of orange pills one day his skin turned orange and he was sent to the sax Middleton hospital where his doctor told him to keep off the vitamin c products because they were destroying his liver but braeburn ignored the doctor and when he got his pills out swallowed a load". " braeburn then drank glass after glass of carrot juice suddenly something inside braeburn shut down and he fell hitting the floor dead , cause of death? His liver failed to work so did everything else in his body which caused his heart to stop killing him".
"Braeburn had a thing for vitamin c products he drank em he swallowed and finally he killed himself with them"
229-sacks of money nope death:
"Diamond tiara had just married a wealthy young man called pip who had tons of cash in his safe, there is a thing you should know about diamond tiara she loved money it was her dream to be a millionaire in all the fame and riches truth be told she was rich back when she was a kid but the bank bills and everything got in the way so she lost everything because of the budget so she decided to marry the first hottest wealthy man she could find and marry him so she could get address of the safe then play with it"."one day however an earthquake began the force of the earthquake caused the money sacks to down pinning diamond tiara to the ground and suffocating her killing her".
" diamond tiara was a money lover who only cared about the showshe found out one day however there's always a consequence to everybody good night you squashed up sack".
230-jellyfished electrocution belly:
"Flitter is what you call a person who reads the book boy who cried wolf surprisingly enough it wasn't a wolf it was shark, she was at the Miami beach with her fellow friends and she was being the usual way she was scaring everyone when she said she saw a shark but she told them she was kidding and that there really wasn't one in the pool"." flitter then dived under the water but she accidentally swallows a jellyfish causing it to go down her throat electrocuting her windpipe killing her".
"Flitter was a annoying girl who loved to ruin everyone's fun but when she swallowed a jellyfish she knew she should've kept her big mouth shut".
Credits-same as show
episode 34-deaths other idiot brotherEdit
" no not the knife ahhhh tonight on thousand ways to die these losers meet their end we have a lumberjack who gets tree slammed, a loan shark who loses his head, a car jacker who gets tangled, a gamer who electrifies out, a Skyscraper bitch who gets sharded, football fan who starts a barfight and finally a rugby coach who gets crouched out".
"Death is everywhere most of us try to avoid it others can't get out of its way everyday we fight a new war against germs, toxins, injury, illness and catastrophe there's a lot of ways to wind up dead the fact that we survive at all is a miracle because everyday we live we face a 1000 ways to die".
" the tree cutting business was a dangerous job but somebody had to do it meet pip he was a lumberjack who worked in the woods cutting down trees and filling his truck full of them to take to his boss's company so they can make firewood for winter times one day however it was different he was lounging at home on his couch because it was his day off but he wanted to cut down a tree so he picked up his chainsaw and went outside soon enough he found a tree in his own backyard (facepalm)". "Pip got to work but the chainsaw had been used multiple times that it rear ended slammed into the tree and bumped pip over on his back but you may be a thinking can't he just move no because the handle trapped him screaming for help pip tried but noone heard him because of his chainsaw's noises as the tree reached its finally roots"."pip managed to escape but he didn't get far snap crash bang splat squash, pip was no more when pip got up and out the chainsaw swung out sawing off his left leg and he fell over just as the tree crashed down crushing his body to death".
" pip was a lumberjack who loved cutting down trees but one day he felt bored so he cut down what? the tree, his death the answer is both so long tree lover".
"Snips and snails were a bunch of loan sharks who were waiting for rumble to pay them but they eventually got bored and drove down to the place where rumble worked which was a maintenance area he was a scissor lift operator who was busy doing his job when he spotted snips and snails standing below him so he greeted them and told the money will come to them soon but snips wanted the money now so he got out a pair of scissors and cuts the hydraulics wire causing the scissor lift to crash down onto his head decapitating him and it was instant death".
" snips and snails were a bunch of loan sharks who wanted money from rumble rumble wouldn't come down so snips got out some scissors he cut and succeeded but the realization came to him quickly the scissor idea was a dumb idea so long doofus".
233-hang in there stealer:
"Car jacking was a less common thing now a days but some people still do it meet lax he was a carjacker who was about to take a certain family's car by hijacking but first he had to get down to it instead of simply walking to the car and getting in lax decided to do it the hard way by grappling down to the driver's seat but as he reached the car's interior he got stuck and he couldn't move worst he was upside down so all the blood went to his head eventually causing him to black out and die on the spot".
" lax thought the carjacking business was still around well instead of a nice car lax you're going to have a nice grave in hell".
234-gamer o electro:
"Button mash was a gamer who played non stop all day long until one day he got thirsty so he went downstairs for a glass of milkshake to drink in his room and grabbed a glass taking it back upstairs to his bedroom but just as he came through the doorway he tripped on a wire and fell splashing milkshake all over his game system, button panicked and ran to the bathroom for a cloth but things went from bad to worst just as he got to his room his brother walked past knocking buttons onto the wet wires and before buttons could do anything else"."he got electrocuted to death by the wet wires killing him".
" button mash loved video games they were his life but one day he got thirsty and got a drink but things ended up in death's hell he lost everything his milkshake, his game system and finally his life".
"Roseluck was the bank department's manager and boy was she a bitch she hardly cared about what the other people had to say and would rather ignore them and say its their problem not hers then she'd take their houses away if they didn't pay for the rent". " today was a rather blustery day and the wind was getting stronger and stronger meanwhile Roseluck was thinking of the next victim to take down when suddenly the glass shattered sending shards of glass into her body slicing her jugular vein and she bleed to death, the wind had been really strong that day that the window smashed sending shards into roseluck's body killing her". Oh and the answer is none".
"Roseluck was a bank department manager who didn't give a fuck about anyone else's lives but a windy day turned her pay and now she is in deep shards of her own misery".
"Leroy loved football it was his biggest dream to become a footballer himself but for now he decided he'd wait for a while so he went down to a pub to get some drinks of beer and to watch some football on the screens his problem however was he was an annoyance to be around people just sniggered or yelled at him when he was near them so he went to table to check out the match but it wasn't on so he changed the channel"." this action of his caused a bar fight to ensue tables were knocked over, people were injured and bartenders were beaten eventually two men who had been fighting were still at it one of them picked up a bottle and smashed against the other man's skull the man moved sending shards of glass into Leroy's neck severing his veins killing him".
"Leroy was football fanatic he loved the sport but one night he changed the channel the crowd turned into a bar fight and Leroy well he was glassed out".
237-coach gets crouch kick:
"The rugby teams of today were big just as they were back in the day meet dumb-bell he's the coach of the local rugby team in the European county one thing to know about dumb-bell he was a drunken dick of a coach his name itself makes him sound like a dumbass today he was teaching was some players how to play the sport but when the rugby player who does the running runs into him". " he is pushed into the kicker's area where the kicker accidentally kicks him in the pelvis shattering it killing him".
"Dumb-bell was a drunken coach who had nothing else to do in life so started a rugby team too bad it was a crouch kick penalty for him so long dumbass".
Credits-same as show
episode 35-death loves painEdit
"Death loves new victims and different ways to kill people on this episode of a 1000 ways to die we have a lying money stealing relief who gets electro bathed, a con artist who gets suv'd, a moronic criminal who gets the cannistered, a pyromaniac who gets flamed and splashed out, a jarts player who gets jarted, a traitor who gets spiked out and a armed moron who gets door slammed across the neck".
" death is everywhere most of us try to avoid it others can't get out of its way everyday we live we fight a new war against germs, toxins, injury, illness and catastrophe there's a lot of ways to wind up dead the fact that we survive at all is a miracle because everyday we live we face a 1000 ways to die ".
238-bath a fried:
"Elias and his wife Megan were getting a performance ready for when the people got there eventually the people got to the tent and listened to Elias they thought it was a miracle but it was actually a scam they hired somebody to pretend he was weak and old but only paid him 40 bucks an performance promising him a 50 next if the next performance is good during the performance Elias stepped into a bath of holy water (really it was just regular water) but when he grabbed his microphone". "He started shuddering and shaking until finally he died, the death per say was that there was a broken microphone joint so he cut off a socket plug to fix the problem when he stepped into the bath and grabbed the microphone it started electrocuting him and fell dead in the bath with his wife Megan crying at his death".
"Elias was a money stealing miracle relief guy who lied about helping the elderly but a faulty socket soon sent him sparking into a river of death".
239-con suv'd out:
"Lucifer was a con artist who liked making lawsuits against people like putting a rat paw in his taco to sue the taco vendor but today's lawsuit was to pretend to have a car go over his foot so when he spotted a SUV he stepped off the pavement sadly though the car actually went over his foot crushing his foot bone causing him to limp to another SUV and sit there, the lady in the SUV got out to see if he was okay but he told her to call 911 for an ambulance". "the lady hurried to the car for her phone but as she got out the SUV started moving forwards eventually driving into Lucifer's body crushing his ribs and killing him, turns out the lady in the SUV had accidentally pulled the car handle causing it to move forwards and eventually crushing Lucifer to death".
" Lucifer was a lawsuit inducing dick who loved embarrassing others for money but when his fate came too when an SUV made him D-I-E".
"Prison life was a bust if you were dumb enough to go to prison you're done for because in America you get executed so never ever go to one anyway a breakout had ensue and a wannabe criminal escapist called Griff was trying to escape the prison so he started a riot while all the other criminals were going around punching and smacking officers he was founding a way of getting out of there but a guard had blocked his path so he took the guard as a hostage using shiv to keep him from escaping eventually a bunch of other guards aimed their tear gas guns at him". " he told them that if they came closer he would kill the guard but another guard shot his tear gas gun at Griff which flew through the air and straight into Griff's trachea which broke his spinal cord crushed his windpipe and stopped his airway death was instantaneous ".
" Griff wanted to bust out of jail but when a guard blocked his path he took him hostage the other officers soon arrived he threatened them but one shot a tear gas grenade which sent Griff's neck into a break and Griff straight to hell ".
"Conker was a pyromaniac who loved setting things on fire today he was going to burn a couple's tent while they went for a walk his plan was successful so he decides to go somewhere else to burn something when he spots a tree so he decides to burn that tree by spraying gasoline on the tree and throwing a match but unfortunately he gets some of the substance on himself"."Conker goes up in flames luckily he is near a pond so he jumps in but dies anyway, the reason for his death was because the fire burnt his body paralyzing him so when he jumped into the water he drowned".
" Conker loved fire he loved burning things with it but fate may tell his biggest fire fun when was he went up in flames and decided to take a swim".
242-jarts for everything:
"Chuckie lived in a town where stupidity stood there were pregnant women who smoked, alcohol and drugs for everyone to share for the latest high but today's attraction was jarts darts that have sharp ends at the top and a barbeque which almost killed another man, chuckie was hungry for breasts so when a hot feminine woman told him to teach her how to play jarts he gladly agreed"." chuckie threw his jarts in the air the first one hit the ground the other jart landed inside chuckie's head and through his nose killing him the reason for his death is because the hotty showed him some melons and he threw until the realization came back with a stab".
"Chuckie lived with nitwits he accepted a challenge got a boner and finally got impaled through the head to the nose".
"Marty was a traitor he had betrayed his country after months of shooting innocent lives, abusing women and murdering like no tomorrow the cops were on him like no tomorrow though and he had to hide somewhere to get away from them but where? Hmm how about that large bit of wood that should be a good spot right?"." Marty soon found out it wasn't a hiding place at all it was a trap suddenly the trap springed into action impaling Marty with nails from screws which went deep into his body one reached his heart ripping it open and he died of loss of blood and heart failure".
"Marty was a traitor who got outta town too bad for this freak he eventually saw the nailing point".
244-truck doored out:
"Druwp and fleabane were a bunch of armed crooks planning on stealing a car the difference between these two druwp was a moron who was also secretly a coward while fleabane was more braver and ready for action so they decided on a Lamborghini but forgot two rules 1:attack in a less public area and 2:make sure noone has phones otherwise a group of cops could find them eventually some cops did come but while fleabane shot with his machine gun, druwp hid inside a truck during the action". "he decided to foolishly see the action when fleabane took a bullet which luckily only pushed him back into submission because of his chest armour but was arrested but druwp however was dead it turned out when fleabane took the bullet it had ricocheted him straight into the truck door where druwp was watching the force from fleabane's weight caused the door to slam shut straight onto druwp's neck destroying his windpipe and spinal cord killing him".
" druwp and fleabane were a bunch of dummies who got caught fleabane went into prison while druwp went into submission for good".
Credits-same as show
episode 36- death's RequiemEdit
"Ahhhhhh help from toilet deaths to bathtub deaths we have 7 for you we have a stripper lover who gets killed by a toilet, a captain who takes a fall through a ship pothole, a scooter girl and a roof climber get shredded, a farm girl gets hoed out, a fake dentist who gets his mouth washed, a rocker who gets slammed by a sign and a heist leader who loses his balance".
"Death is everywhere most of us try to avoid it others can't get out of it's way everyday we live we face a new war against germs, toxins, injury, illness and catastrophe there's a lot of ways to wind up dead the fact that we survive at all is a miracle because everyday we live we face a 1000 ways to die".
"Salty was getting married to sweets but before the wedding though it was the bachelor party first he and his buddies shakey and mooch were in the bachelor room with a stripper called princess eating sushi off of her body while she laid on the table covered in leaves eventually she went into the bathroom for a break but salty wasn't done with her yet so he went into the bathroom which startled her and tried to have sex with her but she held him back eventually they went into a stall when suddenly salty lost his balance, falling onto the toilet and flushed it which launched him off of it and he landed on a piece of lid which went straight up his ass causing him to bleed out and die from a ruptured rectum".
"salty was a ladies man who missed his wedding and instead died of his idiocy".
" the SS dungout was a luxurious cruise ship with a nice view from the inside and out but one thing that made this ship a nightmare was that the captain who's name was danny was a asshole who forced his crew to put more coal into the ship's engine before it stopped but if they refused he'd whip eventually his crew have had enough of his abuse and chased after him, danny needed somewhere to hide quick when suddenly he slipped on some water that a janitor had spilt onto the floor causing to fall into a pothole where he burned to death inside the boiling fire".
" Danny a captain who abused his ship crew and took a burning fate yeah I've heard that one".
247-scoot, climb and die:
"Scootaloo loved riding on her scooter it was her fun in life when adventures don't come for her to do she'd ride through town picking up Speed as she went meanwhile another adventurer named rumble was busy climbing buildings to get onto the roofs and placing flags in them, both of them were a pain in the town scootaloo because of her dangerous speed causing people to fall over or fall off their bikes etc and rumble because everytime he climbed a roof he'd plant a flag in them causing holes and tiles fall from the roof"." But as fate would have it one day they were doing their usual trickery when they spotted a woodchipper near a house being what they were like they hardly cared about the danger and preferred to be reckless but their stupid decision proved fatal while scootaloo was scooting around she hit a rock launching her off her scooter while rumble lost his balance and fell off the roof you guys know what happens next!!! They fell into the shredder ripping their skin from their bodies and mincing them into pieces of meat leaving only their heads cuddled next each other as they died in each other's company and blood everywhere".
"Scootaloo loved scootering, rumble loved roof climbing both however ended up fatal as when a shredder sees you your mince meat so long scootaturkey and rumbeef".
248-hoe downed cowgirl:
"Applejack was the picture that most cowboys would love she was sexy, did a lot of work on the farm and she loved to flirt but this farm girl had something else she had a fear of bees even if one was near her she'd freak out and run to hide but tonight things were about to change she had just finished fixing a how when a bee buzzed near her she freaked out and turned to run but instead *errr, splat* the hoe she had finished fixing turned against the cowgirl sending the hoe rake straight into her throat destroying her jugular vein, severing her windpipe and ripping her neck straight open, death was instantaneous".
"applejack's life was mostly flirting with boys, looking sexy and doing work but when a bee came her way this cowgirl got hoed out".
"Dentistry such a technique anyone could do it even if that somebody is ken he was a fraud dentist who kissed girls for his own pleasure one day he came to a house where he did his acting profession in act like always only difference was that when he kissed the girl he started feeling sick turns the girl he was with right now had eaten some chilli dogs and forgotten to brush her teeth so he ran to the bathroom for some water but instead ingested denture water, he looked for something to get the taste out but ended up swallowing denture whitenings with the two teeth products in his system they proceeded to destroy his lungs and asphyxiated him causing him to die of choking".
" ken was a fraud who liked to pretend he was a dentist but when you meet a girl with bad breath don't kiss her otherwise you could end up with denturing suffocation ".
"lemon zest loved rock n roll music she headbanged she screamed and she mimicked a guitar in her hands one day she wanted to be a rockstar in all her glory shouting to her fans but for this show dreams either happen or they don't which in this case they don't while lemon zest was fantasizing over being a rockstar she hadn't noticed she had gotten on a stranger's motorbike which proceeded to run out of control and finally flip scream ouch and finally leave lemon zest in a pit of her own dispair". " the motorbike hit a rock causing it to lunged forward throwing lemon zest off the bike and into a sign which snapped her neck and cracked her skull death was instantaneous ".
" lemon zest loved rock n roll but when you put a sign in the mix heh lights out".
"Big cities tend to have a lot of money and boy did this city just but because of this fact many groups of criminals and robbers try to steal it luckily they're arrested but not this heist leader meet can-do he was the heist leader of money stinkers (interesting name) ahem anyway they were planning on robbing cash from the bank in las Vegas but one problem can-do's buddies were a bunch of morons stupidly setting off traps or just being dumb, can-do's temper was high in his veins but he calmed himself down and proceeded with the plan"." at the bank in las Vegas can-do and his cronies had finished piling up bags of cash when the alarm went off, can-do ran towards the door but what was on the other side was a surprise it was a guard he ran away from the guard but tripped over worst it was waxing and water which meant his slide continues eventually he stopped himself before he went over the edge and stood up but slipped losing his grip plummeting into a hard floor and cracking his bones killing him while his cronies looked in shock".
"Can-do stole money for his likenings but when a slippery gets in the way let's just say goodbye money and hello death".
Credits-same as show
season 4 messageEdit
"Welcome to season 4 time to continue from 251
episode 37-death never endsEdit
" life brings new deaths everyday like the lesbian hater who gets thorned, a heavyweight who's ass blows a chunk through the anus,"a yoga instructor who drowns in her own pool, a love couple which ends in blood, a flasher who's allergy beats him to death, a captain of the guards who's neck needs a great stab literally and a terrorist finally sees the point in spy".
"Death is everywhere most of us try to avoid it others can't get out of its way everyday we live we face a new war against germs, toxins, injury, illness and catastrophe there's a lot of ways to wind up dead the fact that we survive at all is a miracle because everyday we live we face a 1000 ways to die"
"Here in the savannas of Africa are the world most prominent creatures lesbians meet jasiri and full they were a pair of lesbians who lived in the savannah difference was jasiri was a bad girl type but with a good attitude while fuli was a good girl type but still had some bad girl in her too either way they were madly in love you wouldn't find either one without the other, the pair loved making out which irritated others around them especially kion who had crushes on both of them but when he found out they were lesbians". " it saddened him and made him angry so he plotted to kill them by pushing them off the cliffside of the rocks into the thorns below but when his plan did indeed set into action he missed losing his balance and falling off the cliff into the thorns below scratching his skin off, cutting his neck and impaling himself it was a triple whammy the thorns scratched his skin clean off his sides and legs, a piece of thorn caught his neck cutting it open and he fell onto a big thorn which went straight through his abdomen cause of death blood loss, neck failure and a stabbed abdomen killing him while jasiri and fuli looked down in horror".
"Jasiri and fuli loved each other but when kion found out he got mad his actions did indeed cause a death his own that is".
"The strongman championships are where guys like to show off their strength meet lobo he thinks he's the strongest but winning this competition won't be easy so he decides to cheat by greasing the bars to eliminate bowser and with some perfectly timed insults eliminates big, lobo attempts the lift the rock round but the strain becomes too much and he bottoms out a chunk of intestine out of his ass killing him as he screams in horror"."Turns out that the ruptured spincter wasn't what killed him but that there was enough strain on his heart that he suffered a heart attack and he died".
"Lobo thought muscles were life but you also need guts something that lobo ironically lost in a match against his spincter and a rock".
"Yoga the art of meditation and flexibility or in Candy's case bitchiness, Candy is a yoga instructor who gives less than enthusiastic people teachings of yoga moves which they either ignore or groan about eventually she loses her patience and asks them to leave considering if they didn't wanna learn to be flexible be her guest but she wasn't giving up, she started getting thirsty so she still in a yoga pose tries to reach the tape near the stairs but misses falling down them straight into a yoga pool luckily she's not thirsty anymore but unfortunately she's not alive anymore either"."the knock from the pool side and stairs knocked her out and she drowned in the yoga pool because of her being unconscious killing her".
"candy did yoga like it was stripping at a strip club but when waters turn against the master of flexibility you're screwed".
"love can be a wonderful thing especially for cherry berry and cherry fizzy who had met on a dating site six years ago and had gone on multiple dates before fizzy finally proposed to berry before long they got a small cottage near a nice stream, they were expecting a baby but berry couldn't have one because the doctor told them she couldn't produced because of a earlier accident fizzy and berry were devastated so they decided to cheer their selves up by going on a motorboat ride, they had gotten onto a raft which flies through the air"." the ride started off wonderful but then suddenly a gust of wind blew shaking the raft until the rope snapped sending the two riders plummeting towards the engine propellers realizing this they shared a final kiss before their bodies smacked into the propellers tearing them to shreds".
"Fizzy and berry were what a man would call a perfect couple and of all the deaths on a 1000 ways to die this is the most saddest heartbreaking death ever rest in piece fizzy and berry".
" today three new mums are walking in the park exercising when a flasher named bunga who wanted to let off a bit of air by walking naked in a jacket and waving his dick at people waves it at the women and drinks the baby milk one threw at him at first they're disgusted but eventually take things into their own hands by beating bunga up these ladies are from a underground fight club called milf(mums I'd like to fight), the women eventually stop and leave leaving bunga on the ground"."Bunga tries to come too but he lands back on the ground dead turns out the beating didn't kill him but that the milk he drank was filled with peanuts which he was extremely allergic to and it closed off his airway asphyxiating him to death ".
"bunga loved waving his junk but when he drank a bottle of milk he soon felt asphyxiated".
" in a castle somewhere in the towns of Europe there is a event going with the Knight's favourite captain shining armor or he would be if he wasn't a jerk everyday was a nightmare for the guards they have get up each morning because of his stupid shouting and his trumpet playing so pretty much every morning they were shattered but had to stay awake to listen to his stupid ranting about how useless they are and how great he is, the guards had to put up with it all the time, pranks would get them fired and escapes would signal executions so they had to obey his command but then they remembered something". "There was more of them than him so they grabbed him and threw him over a railing shining plummeted straight onto a jousting javelin which went straight through his neck which shut down his jugular vein and made his windpipe useless cause of death neck failure and asphyxiation killing him instantly".
"Shining armor had a reputation as a jerk he only cared for himself, made his men think of him as a nightmare and finally saw what became of him when his neck... Snapped back".
258- terrorist..gone lazering:
"Terrorism is a big thing in loads of places idiots who think their countries better than anyone else's when really we're all special that can be less then said when it comes to this guy meet cheezi he's the top dog when it comes to terrorism thinking up ideas for assassinations but today was different today he had met someone called lyco online and they planned to have dinner together at a fancy restaurant only problem is that the violinist is no ordinary violinist she's a spy sent to kill cheezi, her plan fire a laser through his head frying his brains and killing the son of a bitch"." She had hidden the laser in a violin case for cover so when the right times comes she'll press the button firing the weapon at him eventually the orchestra was over and the crowd was wild she saw her chance, she fired the weapon and it went straight through cheezi's head killing him once and for all while lyco looked in horror and the violinist who ironically was leeta lyco's sister smirked".
"Cheezi brought the terrorist community to a full but when a spy disguised as a violinist ruins your fun you could get lazered see you soon you twisted mastermind".
Credits-same as show
episode 38- death in up for himselfEdit
" death brings pain in many ways throughout life like the syphoners who sucked and then blew, the deathray geek who's brains got fried, the lesbians who got blown up by a drier, a supermodel who gets dehydrated and eyepaled, a rager who's eagerness for a parking stop sent her into a hood ornament, a eater who choked on his own sausage and pair of idiots who licked a frog's ass and got sick".
"Death is everywhere most of us try to avoid it others can't get out of its way everyday we live we face a new war against germs, toxins, injury, illness and catastrophe there's a lot of ways to wind up dead the fact that survive at all is a miracle because everyday we live we face a 1000 ways to die".
"two blokes watch a attractive women go past but they're not interested in getting booty from the women they'd rather steal gas from her car to sell at a black market for money meet dogo and chungu they were syphoners what is syphoning its where a tube is put inside a vehicle tank and sucked out through a tube to a container problem is they seem to swallow more gasoline than collect it, chungu spits out the putrid oil and suggests something else"." Dogo comes up with the idea to vaccum it up with a hoover so they attached the tube to the hoover hose which vaccums all the gasoline into it their stupid plan looked like it was gonna work when *bang* well looks these two syphoners have terminated, the vaccum brought all the gasoline into the dust diposit but it banged against the Hoover's blades sparking the hoover and causing it to explode causing scrapnel to lodge into their brains and they died from brain damage and hemorrhaging of the tissue killing them instantly".
"Chungu and dogo had a good plan for money but ultimately the only thing they achieved was losing their own lives to a exploding vaccum cleaner adios damn syphoners".
260- deadly ray time for brain:
"a sociopathic geek was working in his lab on a invention to destroy things with it was a death ray which could burn anyone insect or anything in contact with it so the guy you may be wondering is shady daze who's life was pretty much a hell hole amounts of bullying lead him to make this to take revenge on the bullies by killing them and anyone else in his way, he placed the death ray outside in front of a desk and started his killing spree with a grasshopper then a butterfly his neighbour got a mean burn but then shady daze got hungry so he decided to cook some beans with the death ray but while he was singing the chant". " the tin exploded knocking him unconscious from the explosion but what's that smell oh its shady, the blast from the tin knocked shady out sending his head onto the desk he's okay but the deathray fires straight into his brain heating it up like a pie until his brain sizzled causing his death from major burns and brain damage killing him well he's dead".
"Shady daze had a plan to stop the bullies but when the time he became a bully and ended up just another fried brain geek".
"Reirei is a lesbian who works as a real estate agent helping couples, single males or her favourite females today she was showing a house to a fellow lesbian who she couldn't help flirting with by saying her necklace looks nice and seducing her by playing in the pool eventually the girl who's name is revealed to be zira suggests they go do it on top of a drier in the laundry room to show her if reirei can take it, Reirei took the challenge and they rushed to the laundry room". "zira layed on the drier while reirei thruster into towards her vaginal region when suddenly *boom* oh looks like these lesbians are toasted, the movements from the pair caused the Drier's cable to come out causing explosive gas to go everywhere when the water heater steamed up it caused the gas to explode because the girls were close it blew causing their deaths by major burns on the skin and termination of the tissue killing the lesbian pair".
"Real estate business is a tough and hard job or in reirei's and zira's minds a very deadly one".
262- model an eye paled:
"Modeling has been a statement for many years but super modeling brings it to a whole new level of modeling meet sweets she's the naked one covered in paint she has to keep her body like that for her magazine covers for playboy or other types of stuff guessing that means its either porn photos or its sexualizing teen girls but this chick had a catch each take she'd take a piece of tissue which kept her from starving herself to keep her figure, but the model didn't feel so good on the floor spinning in a daze until she fell onto a camera pole which went straight into her eye killing her". " the tissue had caused her to dehydrate from thirst which in turn knocked her unconscious straight into a camera pole piercing her eye and brain killing her".
"Modeling was a statement but bringing super modeling into account well why don't you ask sweets eh because for her it was her final magazine cover ever say hello to chick with pole stabbed in her eye".
263- orni raged:
"parking lots a area where you have to look around looking for somewhere to park your car but end up losing that spot because someone else gets it that is exactly what happens in our next segment meet cloudchaser she is a driver with road rage everywhere she went she'd get angry especially at people who take her parking areas she wants, so you can imagine what it was like when she met Carmelita a driver who unfortunately had the pleasure of getting into cloudchaser's way she had taken the spot cloudchaser wanted to park in so cloudchaser gets out of her car, and tosses her coffee at the back screen the two start to argue which escalates quickly into a fight cat fight to be exact but Carmelita is able to hold her back but as cloudchaser pounces at her Carmelita moves out of the way causing cloudchaser to land on another car's hood ornament which punctures her stomach causing massive bleeding and immediate death killing her".
"cloudchaser didn't get the space she wanted but in all instead of fighting she could've gone somewhere else ahh well shes became a driver's new car ornament au revoir bitch!!!".
"Time turner had quit his job as a doctor and was now roaming the town looking for trouble when he spotted a shop knowing he didn't have any money he decided to steal instead of paying he was looking around for anything interesting for him to take with paying a dime, he picked up a pair of sunglasses and couple of other things eventually the shopkeeper noticed this and tried to put a stop to it but the drunked doctor turned hobo grabbed a nearby and made a run for it unfortunately he started choking his sausage had turned against him, he had released his grip on it when he ran causing it to slither down his throat blocking his airway and causing him to die from asphyxiation killing him".
"Time turner made a terrible mistake never eat and run with a sausage in your mouth unless you wanna end up in hospital like this idiot".
265- frog licked out:
"Hey look its two dumbasses going for a walk not exactly meet party favor and double diamond they were a bunch of sleazebags looking to get high but on what its simple really they want to lick a frog's ass to take in its Highness to give them the most epic high in the world the frog they're looking for Colorado river frog which is said to bring highness to the next level or at least if you lick its butt, the two find a frog but it isn't the frog they're looking for this is the poison dart frog notorious for use on arrow by Indians even touching one of them would kill you but these dweebs were just as dumb as bums in a bar so they licked the frogs ass suddenly they start hallucinating from the frog but not a good high a bad high, party favour and double diamond start vomiting on the ground from the frog before they finally die from paralysis causing heart failure and death from poisoning as they lie dead on the ground".
" party favour and double diamond were trying to look for a frog to make them high they found one but instead of getting high these morons instead went D-I-E".
Credits-same as show
episode 39- death's got daddy problems Edit
"Gory, bloody and facts be on compare yep that's us a fake handicapped worker who takes a fall, an archery player's neck gets stabbed by an arrow, a wrestler loses too much weight, a convict learns life the hard way, a beach goer goes sand deep and dead, a mayor turned cook has a steamer bomb, and a pair of rappers go overboard,
"death is everywhere most of us try to avoid it others can't get out of its way everyday we live we face a new war against germs, toxins, Injury, illness and catastrophe there's a lot of ways to wind up dead the fact that we survive is a miracle because everyday we live we face a 1000 ways to die".
266-Handicapped and time to fall:
"an injury has left this dude unable to work well actually that's wrong this is a lazy worker who isn't bothered to work and will sue the company meet tony he had faked his injury sued the company by lying and has to now be left in a wheelchair because he says that he's a disabled worker really in reality he was fine, one day however a worker spots him standing up and goes to tell the boss about the fact he wasn't injured at all or disabled either the worker runs to an elevator tony didn't want to have his cover blown so he chased after him on his wheelchair but the elevator doors closes, tony slams into the elevator causing a burst in the door to crack open on his second bash the door gives way causing tony to fall screaming as he fell before dying of a broken spine and neck killing him".
"Tony had a secret that he didn't want anyone else to know but in the end it got revealed, the witness got away and as for tony well let's just say he won't be recovering from this injury".
267-a neck for an arrow:
"Every town has its activities but none so than archery where the goal is to fire a arrow at a board from a distance without missing well everyone enjoyed this but none as much as sunburst he loves firing arrows at boards for fun another thing about sunburst is he's a complete dick to everyone telling them they suck or his arrows are better than theirs, he even fires arrows from his bow to scare them away however today sunburst was practising when another competitor slips as they fire the arrow"." The arrow flies through the air fast ricocheting off the target and straight into Sunburst's larynx causing asphyxiation and death from massive bleeding".
"Sunburst wanted to be the best of the best at archery however when his bragging took a turn for the worse the only thing he has now is a bleeding sore throat".
268- wrest!ed weight loss:
"Wrestling pit night was on and professional pit wrestler fire streak was getting a good win streak for the championship when the night came to an end his manager ran up to him congratulated him on his victory and told him to train for the finals against bulk biceps, that night fire streak trained hard on his exercise bike he was sweating from head to toe but because he had a jacket on it covered his clothes and body he wasn't able to see how much weight he'd lost he trained and trained until one day he went to check the scales and falls to ground dead, turns out the overtraining caused him to lose too much weight causing him to die from starvation and body failure killing him".
"fire streak trained everyday on his exercise bike except instead of winning tonights finals, he ended up dying from his own weight loss".
269- con stricted:
"Welcome to rugtough community prison where today's victim will be killed meet stu he was wanted for murder, drug usage and assaulting an officer now he's stuck living the rest of life or is he? Turns out that he's planning an escape plan the plan? Dig a hole out of the jail and then he's home free but only one problem no shovel so he makes do with what he has, yes I mean his hands anyway eventually he digs his way out and emerges from the hole feeling pleased with himself when suddenly he starts asphyxiating why? Because when he got out of the hole he rested beside a tree which was home to a boa constrictor in minutes the snake started Strangling him, stu couldn't breathe and so he fe!l to the ground dead from asphyxiation killing him".
"stu was a lowlife and a crook instead of doing the time he met a boa constrictor who gave him the squeeze peace out homie".
270 - look sand below:
"welcome to the beach a big place where Anyone can chill and have fun in the sea but when you go to the Beach you wouldn't want to meet this guy meet chopsuey he was the sort of guy a jerk and a bitch would have, today was another one of those days where he was being an annoyance for a unfortunate couple but the husband eventually got up and started chasing him round the beach, chopsuey needed somewhere to hide so he hid behind some rocks lucky the man gave up unfortunately for him he slipped and fell into a deep sand hole he was okay apart from some bruises but as he went to climb out a quick wave of water smacked the sides of the sandpit causing it to collapse sending sand pouring down onto chopsuey, chopsuey desperately tried to escape but his clawing caused more sand to fall more and more sand fell until it stopped chopsuey? Chopsuey? Oh wait he's dead, the sand had put pressure on his lungs causing him to asphyxiate while the rest of it had blocked his nose and choked him all in all chopsuey was dead".
"ahhh the beach such a fun place to be but when it came to chopsuey instead of having fun at the beach he ended in his own sandy grave".
271-steam go boom:
"Ahhh what a nice cottage I wonder who lives here oh look there she is oh she doesn't look very happy of course she wouldn't what am I saying meet ivory scrolls she is a retired mayor who was dropped out of mayorship of the town after a night of partying let's just say there was a lot of cocaine alcohol and plenty of the Town's craziest folks, she thought it was fun but the government thought otherwise so she was stripped of her position and was fired because of this she went to her old ways she decided to change her hair colour to pink and wear hot clothes again and another thing she loved to do was cook she decided to cook some stew she had put the cooker on and was waiting for her food to cook however alot of steam had steamed up inside the pan causing the pan to whistle, ivory went over to check the pan when *boom* it exploded! The pan had a lot of pressure on it so when she went to check it it exploded sending shards of metal into her face piercing her brain Tissue causing it to bleed and she died of exangustination, brain hemorrhaging and destruction of the tissue killing her".
"Ivory scrolls wanted a job in the mayoring business however unfortunately for throwing a party makes you lose that job, so she tried to get over it by cooking but in the end all she achieved was dying rest in peace ivory scrolls forever".
272- rappie splattie:
" today a new ship was to be launched called the rappin cruise a ship primarily for rappers like sans or ash either way today's launching will leave one of these two biting the dust, anyway ash was setting up his gear while sans was dressing In his street clothes now ash was the sort of guy who'd prank you today's prank mess with sans rapping gear at the same time sans was pulling the same trick on ash now what's the problem with this scenario that's right folks idiot alert!, later that day as sans and ash were preforming their rap battle their speakers buzzed causing both of them to cover their ears and run to the door unfortunately a crew mate had left some water on the deck the pair of them went over the side luckily their trouser legs got caught in a net saving them from drowning but unfortunately that won't stop what happens next *honk* *splat* blood went everywhere onto the crew the audience and the captain but what happened to ash and sans, when the pair fell off the side they were saved by a net unfortunately a out of control ship was on route so when the ship collided with their heads they popped like a balloon splattering blood onto everyone killing them instantly cause of death exangustination and decapitation".
"So remember this if you want to be a good rapper never mess with each other's gear, walk to a door and finally never go over the side of a ship because for sans and ash all they ever saw was a ship well until it flatten their heads but who cares right? Right?".
Credits- same as show
episode 40- deathly be right behind youEdit
"Error death is coming for you or at least on this episode of a 1000 ways to die today a tomboy cheats in a competition and pays the price, a ghost rider gets run over, a christian meets their end on the cross, a non christian makes everyone take ecstasy and burns her throat, a landlord tries to ruin a business but gets his tie stuck, a desperate food vendor deep fries his face and a Taliban terrorist gets shot then fed to crocodiles all this and more on the next episode of 1000 ways to die".
"Death is everywhere most of us try to avoid it others can't get out of its way everyday we face a new war against germs, toxins , injury , illness and catastrophe there's a lot of ways to wind up dead the fact that we survive at all is a miracle because everyday we live we face a 1000 ways to dies".
"here in a cabin in the middle of nowhere lives fleetfoot and her brothers all they did all day was do competitions like burping or sucking helium to make your voice high pitched today's competition however was a farting contest where the loser had to take their shirt off in public ("woah that sounds hot") ahem sorry about that anyway fleet foot knew she couldn't win fair and square so she decided to cheat, using a whip cream can she shoved it up her anus to use to make a big fart suddenly the can started spraying and fleetfoot started screaming her brothers heard her screaming and run in to see if she was okay ending in the other brother being covered in ass blood, now why did she die? Simple when she shoved the can up her anus it activated itself spraying the frosty fluid into her body causing her intestines to bleed killing her".
" fleetfoot wanted to beat her brothers at everything but instead of winning she ended losing thanks to a whip cream can that gave her a freeze".
"Woah check out these guys they had just stolen a SUV to use for what purpose? Ghost riding of course meet Lemmy he was hanging with his fellow ghost riders in a parking lot doing stuff like walking alongside the suv or sitting on top of the front hood, now ghost riding means starting a vehicle and doing tricks on it today Lemmy was gonna do a trick called the circle in the user puts the steering wheel in a fixed position and stand on the roof of the car in this case the SUV Lemmy put a wire around the wheel leaving it in a set position once done he climbs out the window onto the roof where he starts dancing until he runs over a block on the road which causes him to fall off the roof and under the car where it runs over his legs breaking them as Lemmy desperately tries to escape the SUV comes back and runs over his pelvis his intestines his lungs his heart before finally running over his head killing him from massive blood loss and death was instantaneous".
"Lemmy liked ghost riding but for god sake if your gonna ghost ride watch out for obstacles or you might end up as a squished mess of blood like Lemmy".
275- Christ crossed:
" ahhh the day is Friday and everyone is playing kids are messing around while sit down to watch but for papyrus he has to go to church for a ceremony for god you see when the original owner toriel retired she chose papyrus to be the new priest, but all papyrus really cared about was cocaine and getting high everyday before he went to church he'd sniff a load up his nostrils to keep up with the day ahead of him on this faithful day he had entered the church feeling dizzy the staff asked if papyrus was alright which in turn he'd say he was but during the ceremony everyone could see papyrus was coked out on drugs unfortunately for papyrus the drugs turned on him causing him to onto the microphone stand where he impaled himself with the church's valued possession a cross, the cross entered through his stomach where it ripped his heart open and had cut many veins on its way into the body killing him".
"Papyrus was an excuse for a priest for all Christians out if you're looking for churches Be sure not to visit this one unless you want to see a play where a coke induced priest kills himself with Jesus's cross amen".
"Ahhh camping the great feeling of being in the environment near a tent in the woods it was a naturalist's dream but that doesn't mean everyone has to be happy meet tiifu her parents had made her come to a religious campsite to learn about god the only problem she didn't care about god or religions she just wished she wasn't here, the group had gone out looking for more sticks for the fire so tiifu decides to toss some ecstasy in there that night they were eating their food which caused the ecstasy to take effect on them turning the religious teens into horndogs one of the campers pretends to be a rock star by smacking guitar on the ground breaking it causing pieces of wooden dust to go down tiifu, tiifu goes to grab a drink she grabs the flask and gulps it down unfortunately the water she gulped down her throat was hot water she could've spat it out but the ecstasy had stopped her from doing so causing her to burn her throat or otherwise known as she burns her epiglottis killing her from a burnt windpipe".
"Tiifu didn't care about god she only cared about herself she'd rather be at rather than where she was but unfortunately for her when you're mean you might end up with a burning scorched throat heh classic".
"every office has its least liked workers meet Lionheart he was the mayor as well as the landlord of business wild as well as the boss the reason noone likes him is because he was a jerk black mailing false info to their homes with the intention of phoning the police to get them arrested afterwards, he called it best intention for work promotional advertising but in reality he was breaking and destroying other people's lives for his own entertainment that evening Lionheart was to attend a business meeting he had changed into his business clothes but he was hungry so he went over to a vending machine for a quick snack he threw the dollar in the machine but it wouldn't stay in he pushed and pushed and pushed until it stayed in the machine, Lionheart was excited but his excitement soon turned to screams his tie had gotten stuck in the machine tightening the fabric around his neck until he asphyxiated which killed him".
"Lionheart loved ruining over people's lives by blackmailing and calling the cops but when this sly boss wanted a snack the gods gave it to him well not the snack I mean death of course".
278- batter fried face:
"It was coming to an end for the national food vendors tonight why? Because it was dark and everyone had gone well except for sightseer and surprise they were finishing up their vendor stand when surprise says she's hungry so sightseer seeing as a chance to help out as well as hopefully make out with her feeds her deep fried snacks like a fried Twinkie or a fried pickle, seeing his chance he goes in to make out mode but surprise isn't interested in having a make out session and pushes him away which quickly turns his mood from happy and excited for the make out to angry and desperate he charges at her however she's too quick and dumps a bucket of frying cream on his head covering him in the stuff, he starts to Run after her but because his vision was blurred by the cream he runs headfirst into a pole knocking him unconscious in which case his head falls into the frier where it cooked his brain exploding it killing him while surprise looks on in horror having came back for her purse to see sightseer a little bit fried".
"Sightseer wanted a piece of surprise but instead of Kentucky fried lucky he became Kentucky fried dead".
279- tali shotadile:
"In the outskirts of Pakistan we have Muslims but when you think about it what would happen if one of these guys turns bad meet baljeet he's a Taliban terrorist plotting a attack on a country known as america or the USA his plan plant some bombs undetected in the sewer system and then when the moment is right boom they'll be blood and guts everywhere, the Americans found out about his plan so they prepared themselves for it as soon as baljeet came into the country he was captured he was taken to a military base where he was shot he started bleeding out but not enough killing him he was then thrown to some crocodiles who finished off the job for the Americans, baljeet screamed as his body was ripped shreds while bleeding everywhere lets just say he won't be coming alive from this attack the shot had damaged his stomach while the crocodiles feasted on his rest of his corpse destroying bones organs and tissue and baijeet was dead".
" baljeet hated america so he planned to blow it up unfortunately the Americans beat him to it shot him and then fed his dumb ass to a bunch of crocodiles.... yeah nice try terrorist".
End credits-same as show
episode 41- death please don't kill meEdit
"Death comes in many different ways even so this helps with our show two deputies hide in a cave and get TNT'd, a statue maker gets killed by his own invention, a mafia boss eats a pill and regrets it, a filmer gets beaten by a branch, a referee swallows his whistle, a bad sports athlete snaps neck and a actor gunpowders himself in blood".
"Death is everywhere most of us try to avoid it others can't get out of it's way everyday we live we face a new war against germs,toxins,injury, illness and catastrophe there's a lot of ways to wind up dead the fact that we survive at all is a miracle because everyday we live we face a 1000 ways to die".
280- depu bang:
" in the wild west lives a famous known as silverstar but a sheriff isnt nothing without some deputies meet fetter keys and starspur these two were the toughest nuts in the shed for a good reason because these two use to be outlaws working for a bandit group, the authorities had caught up to them and taken them to prison fortunately they escaped running into this town where they were made deputies for silverstar so far their story was a secret but one day a sheriff from the other town walked in and spotted them the two ran as fast as they could and hid in a cave, it was dark so one of them decided it would be a good idea to light a match *bang* ohh huge mistake turns out these outlaws had ran into a TNT mine which is extremely dangerous once fetter keys lit the match he set off the TNT causing it to explode killing them from fatal burns loss of blood and massive hemorrhaging killing them instantly".
"Fetter keys and starspur were two outlaws turned deputies who thought they'd escaped well they may have escaped the law but they won't escape one thing ... Death".
281- stat u crushed:
"As far as statues go there just big works of art created by someone with a lot of time on their hands most are taken to art museums but this statue will entering a different place meet lightning streak he was creating a statue for what reason to have sex with it of course, his wife came in to check on him and tells him to stop messing around with his statue lightning streak however reacts angrily shouting at his wife to go away and she does forever but lightning streak didnt care he doesn't need her he had his statue to make out with after a few adjustments here and there including a crack for a vagina he got straight to work on his statue until eventually he fells asleep when he awakens he tries to move from his creation but is stuck to it he tugs as hard as he can eventually freeing himself causing him to fall on the floor unfortunately the movement wobbled his statue causing his masterpiece to fall on top of him where it crushes his ribcage and windpipe killing him".
" in the world of art there have been many creations from Picasso to van Gogh but when it came to lightning streak's statue she'd rather see lightning streak die a painful death... Heh serves you right ya bastard".
282- cyanide kill:
"In a rundown alley somewhere in Minnesota was a base of a mafia boss meet bill Sikes he was a loan shark as well as mafia boss working people out of their money for his greed and kill them if they didn't but now he was all alone why? Believe it or not this crime boss had a gang but As time went on his temper got the better of him which caused his gang members to quit leaving his poor ass in a office, meanwhile on the outskirts of the mafia base was a assassin meet Fagin he'd had enough of Bill's threats and was on his way to kill him before the boss could do it to him unfortunately bill heard his footsteps as he approached the stairs he fell dead why? Today he had been counting his cash when he heard a clang and ate what he thought was a good pill which helped with his temper unfortunately the pill he ate was a cyanide pill which proceeded to poison him shutting down organs killing him from poisoning while Fagin looked on at his dead boy happy".
"Bill sikes chewed money in like a loan shark unfortunately for this mafia boss the only thing he has now is a nice grave all thanks to our friend cyanide pill... thanks cyanide pill".
283- filmed a sticked:
"What's this a pervert video taping hot women well almost except this guy wasn't a pervert meet makuu he was filming hot women holding guns to satisfy his fetish, the females would shoot guns while in hot sexy outfits and makuu loved all of it he loved watching the recording afterwards for his own pleasure one day he and his favourite hottie with a gun were filming a scene where she would hold a Uzi while looking sexy and shooting once in a while unfortunately the hottie lost control of her uzi causing it to spread around all around the field until it hit a tree branch, causing the branch to come loose and impale makuu through his chest where it cut off his blood causing it to spray out his body in fountains while also Damaging organs like his heart all this combined caused him to die of exangustination".
"makuu made a living by filming hot females for his own pleasure but one day his fame went away when a branch came to ruin his fun... Well uh don't come back... Oh wait he can't!!!".
284- Refer whistled:
"this college in new York is home to flamestop high a high school dedicated to giving newly grown adults responsibility and job ideas you could pick anything acting and voice acting sports or arts and design as well as technology but somewhere in this high school is a hot headed referee by the name of zephyr breeze after years of working at a hairdresser shop he'd been fired for making out with a customer in the back room and now he was stuck being a referee for sports fans he hated his job he hated his students and he hated the college but the one thing that made him happy was that he only had one more year here before going to a new Job anywhere nearby, today he was teaching the students how to play football the day went smooth that afternoon the college sports were up against casedownton abbey high school zephyr was blowing his whistle loudly to his students to play better after casedownton scored a goal when suddenly the ball smacked into his face causing his whistle to lodge down his throat the crowd laughed at his suspense until someone realized he was actually choking the school stopped the match but by the time they ended the match temporarily it was already too late, when the whistle lodged In his throat he was unable to pull it out causing him to die from asphyxiation and heart failure killing him"
"College is a hard time for us students and as for zephyr after getting fired from his job as hairdresser and ending up getting a whistle lodged all the way down his throat all he could now was...well whistle".
285 - sports snapped:
"Sports such a easy thing to start there are two possible endings either you end up a great athlete who's good at sports or you could end up like a loser like wind rider, wind rider was once a famous athlete who worked with a entertainment team however he was kicked for framing a fellow teammate so now he was plotting revenge on spitfire to humiliate her his plan sabotage her equipment to make her fail her training exercises thus screwing her chances of winning in the show all was going smooth until he heard a voice it was spitfire he needed to hide he ran until he found a locker he watched as spitfire went passed and sneaked out of the locker to the sports field there he hid under the big bench chairs watching the games on as he watched in happiness his revenge was sweet already spitfire had fallen over when she tried the long jump when suddenly he saw a Frisbee come his way *snap* oh did I forget to tell you it was a metal Frisbee, when the Frisbee smacked into wind rider's neck it cut off his breathing supply causing him to asphyxiate as blood gushed out of his mouth and throat killing him instantaneously as spitfire screamed at his dead body".
"Windrider wanted to destroy Spitfire's reputation but instead of destroying her reputation he ended up with destroyed neck pain".
286- acting at it's bloodiest:
"At a film studio somewhere in Chicago two actors were filming a scene of a fight between their pretend countries their objectives was to fire at each other with fake bullets of course but one of the actors was planning on killing the other meet mjumbo he was planning on shooting badili with real bullets to make the scene believable, the directors started filming mjumbo and badili walked three paces forward before turning around to shoot each other mjumbo was quicker than badili and fired first unfortunately his gun exploded turns out he had put too much gunpowder in his gun's power supply causing to explode blowing off his hand and sending chunks of gun shrapnel into leg so basically he died from blood loss and body failure".
"mjumbo wanted to take his acting career to a deadlier stage however the only thing that he achieved that was deadly was causing his own death".
Credits- same as show
Episode 42- death will not be beaten Edit
"Arr me hearties why am I talking like a pirate whatever and welcome to another episode of 1000 ways to die today a dog catcher breaks his neck, a optician punctures her eye, a photographer decides to take a selfie but ends up falling to her doom, a doctor has a fatal stab to his heart, a prop manager gets squished, a fast food employee gets steamed and fried by a explosive oven, a poet jabs a ink pen in his neck by mistake and a politician loses the election and then His head all this and more on 1000 ways to die".
"Death is everywhere most of us try to avoid it others can't get out of its everyday we we face a new war against germs,toxins, injury, illness and catastrophe there's a lot of ways to wind up dead the fact that we survive at all is a miracle because everyday we live we face a 1000 ways to die".
287- dog ca- no wait snapped:
"Dog catching is a serious job everyday you have to be prepared for it but for gaston here its a way to show his distaste in them he hated dogs he wished the darn things never bloody existed so much so that once they were back at the pound he'd abused them causing many complaints from their owners who come to collect them one customer even reported that his dog had a split nose from the abuse given to it which unfortunately for the owner resulted in him having to put his dog down because of the pain at a local vet, Gaston was relaxing in his work bench when his boss came over after all the complaints and deaths because of his abusive nature towards them his boss was sick of it so he fired Gaston on the spot however Gaston was not happy at this change of plans and charged at him however he jumped out of the way while Gaston ran into a cage where he snapped his neck cutting off his wind supply and snapping his spine killing him instantly".
"Gaston's hatred for dogs sent his blood boiling, getting fired made it worst but snapping his neck finally stopped his blood and him forever".
288- optic stabbed:
"Every once in a while everyone needs to get their eyes checked to see if they need glasses but for the people who get their eyes checked at this optical centre watch out for this girl meet silver spoon she was the best optician in the whole world, but behind that smiling innocent mouth she has right now she's done some pretty bad stuff in her life which to the dismay of sweetie Belle makes her nervous about her laser eye surgery, silver spoon got to ready to perform but as she was about to set the laser on sweetie Belle's eye she tripped falling onto the machine causing it to puncture her eye as the laser tore through her brain destroying precious brain tissue killing her".
"silver spoon worked at her finest however when the machine turned against its master it was silver spoon who opted out"
289 - selfie, ouch:
"Every year something new happens a new show starts or a hyped new game comes out but there's one craze that everyone loves selfies, a selfie is where you take a picture of yourself and post it online sometimes involving doing dangerous things which have resulted in a lot of deaths but that doesn't stop fuli from doing them at all, fuli was what many of society would call reckless and insane fuli's love for selfies cost a lot of things including losing her girlfriend Jasiri